Rambling Rhodes

Congrats, yo

I didn't know they were even promoted, but this is cool.

Mark my words

If the holiday sales are down this year, as predicted, I'm willing to bet good money there will be talk of a "federal retail bailout."

I'm just waiting on a bailout of the bailout industry.

Zuning the Geode

As always, click for a larger version.

Most Unexpected IM Conversation Ever

Jody says: do you poop on the toilet seat at work?

Ryan says: No, I try to get all the poop in the bowl.

Ryan says: Occasional accidents notwithstanding.

Jody says: but do you clean up the aftermath when you have an accident?

Ryan says: Okay, do I want to know what prompted this discussion in the first place?

Jody says: the guys I work with...heavy drinkers that shit everywhere the next day

Jody says: and I have to SIT whenever I go so i'm screwed

Ryan says: So, like, actual chucks of shit, or just splatter?

Jody says: splatter

Jody says: chucks of shit?

Ryan says: Gorillas chuck shit. I meant "chunks."

Jody says: i know

Jody says: on both counts

Jody says: gorillas also chew it

Ryan says: I know. We were both there to witness the gorilla chewing its flourescent poop. I can still hear my brother gagging to the point of vomit.

Jody says: and you and I laughing hysterically

Jody says: and that damn song you sang after....

Ryan says: But, to answer your initial question: I don't think I've ever splattered the toilet seat at work. At least not on the top of the seat. I never really check the bottom when I'm done.

Jody says: i could care less about the bottom of the seat

Ryan says: I'm deeply sorry that it's a chronic enough problem for you that you actually asked me about it.

Jody says: well, you are a guy

Jody says: and its a guy thing

Ryan says: You telling me girls don't splatter?

Jody says: there are no girls here... and i can't remember a time that i've walked in a public womens restroom and seen splatter on the TOP of the seat

Jody says: not to say it doesn't happen...just happens frequently in the men's room

Ryan says: How do they get splatter on TOP? Aren't they sitting down on the seat? Shouldn't the splatter be limited to their butt cheeks and seat bottom?

Jody says: THATS WHAT I"M ASKING!!!!

Jody says: i don't get it

Ryan says: Oh, and what song did I sing after the gorilla chewed its poop? I've forgotten that detail.

Jody says: ....eating its poop and chewing it chewing it

Jody says: I can't remember the name of teh original song you changed the words to

Ryan says: Oh, that's right! "Everybody's doing it, doing it. Eatin' their poop and chewin' it, chewin' it."

Jody says: YES!!!

Ryan says: Made my brother gag anew with each rendition!

Jody says: oh, yes.

Relief

Over the 5+ years I was with my last company, I held the unusual distinction of being the ONLY employee not to participate in the company's 401k plan. Having taken part in a previous 401k, which eventually folded and sent me a check for $3,500, which I put into a Roth IRA, I just wasn't all that jazzed about the whole 401k thing.

Yeah, I understood that the company would "match" my contribution and all that, but there was just something about the whole 401k thing I just didn't trust. It's a control thing, I think. I like having my money right where I can see it and put it just where I please. For my part, in lieu of a 401k, I opted to put away money each year, and put it towards more Roth IRAs come tax time.

You can question the wisdom of this approach to retirement saving, and God knows I got enough phone calls over the years from the company 401k rep practically begging me to sign on to the 401k plan; to her, I was no doubt the one black spot on an otherwise enterprise-wide enrollment gold star. I actually started to think of my 401k holdout as a sort of badge of pride. Mostly though, I didn't want to enroll because doing so would, in my mind, have been a kind of capitulation to the idea that I was going to be working for the company for a long, looooooooongggggg time, and that just didn't set too well with me.

Now, as the stock market plunges and takes all sorts of 401k savings with it, and my IRAs stay nice and locked into their stable interest percentages, I'm feeling all nice and relieved. All because I was basically just a stubborn ass.

So I guess the lesson is: be a stubborn ass.

Because Jumping On Graves Can Be Fun!

I've only ever been a casual troll of the Minnesota Independent, an "alternative," "independent," online media engine that I always suspected would likely nosedive following the 2008 election, no matter the outcome.

Well, surprise surprise!

But beyond the story of the inevitable implosion of a alt-media arm, there's all sorts of goodies being hoovered up, chewed on and posted by some of my most favoritest bloggers.

Koolaid Report delivers. As does Shot in the Dark. It's all just so much. . . dare I say it. . . FUN!

Shut Your Pie Hole, Already!

Sometimes, it almost seems like government officials just wake up one day and think "you know, I'm going to publicly say something explosive just to see how many points I can knock the Dow Jones down today."

It is nice to know the great minds toiling away in the federal government apparently realized investing taxpayer dollars into toxic debt might not be a good idea, after all. I wonder what clued them in. The word "TOXIC" possibly?

Today

Today consists of about 55 percent hope, and 40 percent change.

Five percent remains "undecided."

Hand Comes Out

UPDATE: This one is most excellent, too:

*snort*

Mitch, over at Shot in the Dark, wrote about something that has "started whacking its staff."

Yeah, that's pretty much awesome.

Leaf Me Alone

One of the great Minnesota gambles each year is deciding on the right weekend to rake leaves. If you're lucky, you get a sunny day in the 40+ degree realm, with nice, dry leaves that pack well into the Hefty bags.

If you're not lucky, which is basically 9 out of ten years, you end up with a below-freezing weekend, with soggy-frozen leaves that are heavy and take up way more garbage bag space than should be necessary.

Last week was the latter. The wife and I must have filled nearly 30 garbage bags full of ice-encrusted tree droppings, and I couldn't even empty the roof gutters because the leaves were welded to the metal like Flick's tongue to the flag pole (extra ThunderJournal bonus points for a most excellent "A Christmas Story" analogy, which is better than "Dirty Bob's Xcellent Adventure," which Flick also starred in, although I'm not sure if a flag pole was involved. AnyHOOO).

So, anyway, the 2008 episode of leaf raking and im-bagnation is now complete. Thank Yahweh.

A Cartoon Full of Geode