July 15, 2005
As Promised. . . CATblogging!
For the occasional sport, and of course for the sake of high art, my girlfriend and I put Kit and Kat in trees, and then she takes pictures of them. Featured here is Kit. He's about as smart as he looks in this picture which, as you can tell, isn't very.
On the flip side of the coin, here we have Kat. He's only slightly smarter than Kit, by which I mean Kat has never peed on me, whereas Kit has. Kat is also strangely photogenic, owing probably to his black fur and white "socks." Come on, admit it, you secretly want to pet him.
Kit and Kat will be one year old sometime later in August. Gifts are accepted, particularly expensive ones. Both cats are experienced automobile drivers, and I heard Kat the other day mewing something about really wanting a Chrysler PT Cruiser convertible. It was either that, or he coughed up a hairball. Whatever the case, if there's a PT Cruiser Convertible in my driveway sometime on or around August 21st, in my name, I'll be sure to transfer the title over to Kat as soon as possible, and I thank you, in advance, for the kind gift.
July 14, 2005
Blog Day Afternoons
I have been informed by my Sister-in-Law, one Jody Rhodes, that my blogging as of late has been at a certain level of suckitude. She is correct in this assessment. I have, indeed, been blogging at a less than stellar/thoughtful/ass-focused level, and for this I apologize.
I can only assure you that my lack of blogging has everything to do with my crushingly-massive workload, and nothing to do with the contempt I hold for my readers, all four of you.
To rectify this unfortunate period of blase blogging, I plan on posting pictures of my cats after work tonight. Hopefully, this will tide you over until I can steal 10 minutes away from a shitty work day and post something compelling. In case you're wondering, the last time I posted a picture of my cats, they looked like this:
They're bigger now, and they shit more. And they sleep on my chest in the morning and purr extremely loud, so I have to throw them across the room until they hit the wall, and then they come back to do it all again, in a game that I've taken to calling "Goddamn fucking cat! I'm trying to fucking sleep!" I plan on contacting Parker Bros. in the hopes of making it into a board game, sort of like Chutes and Ladders.
July 12, 2005
Sweat
There is a common misperception shared by many non-Minnesotans that Minnesota is a fairly cool state, temperature-wise, throughout the year.
However, while it may be true that our winters can be bone-breakingly cold our, summers, alternatively, can feature high temps that rival anything the other 49 states can achieve.
The following week, for example, has been a hell-house of hot temperatures, tipping up into the 90s for a couple of days. But, as any good Minnesotan will tell you, it's not the heat, it's the humidity. Yes, once you throw the humidity into the mix, you have some pretty unbearable weather.
And, it just so happens that I'm now enrolled in a Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu program that features workouts I haven't experience since my days of high school wrestling. These workouts are seriously intense: two hours of muscle-straining hell. Granted, I'll no doubt become acclimated to the workouts the more I attend, but for now I struggle through minute by dragging minute.
And I sweat. Holy crow do I sweat. It certainly doesn't help that there's no air conditioning, but I'm a natural-born sweater to begin with, going back as far as I can remember. The combination of no air conditioning mixed with workouts I'm not used to quite yet, results in a display of personal waterworks I can scarcely believe.
I mean, last night, sweat just poured off me. I literally looked like I was fresh out of a shower for the entire two hours. I was sweating so incredibly much, I was actually starting to wonder if maybe something was wrong with me. I spent every free moment practically making love to the water fountain, trying to maintain my rapidly-depleting fluid levels. I can't, in my memory, recall sweating anywhere near as much as I sweated last night. It was almost horrifying.
I really hope this is only a temporary affliction, because if I were someone else, and I had to grapple with me, I'd be pretty well disgusted.
