May 20, 2005
Camel-Off!
Yes, today is the first-ever Rambling Rhodes Camel Toe Contest! Shown below are two camel toes, chosen completely at random from an e-mail I received from my sister-in-law, which consisted of the two pictures shown below. You can vote for your favorite camel toe in the comment section. Let the voting begin. . . NOW!
By the way. . .
If you're trying to pin some sort of political angle to the new Star Wars movie. If you're honestly considering the possibility that Anakin/Vader = Bush. If you think Yoda is somehow John Kerry. If you think Mace Windu may be a Jedi incarnation of Martin Luther King Jr. If you think Palpatine is a tongue-in-cheek slam on Wal-Mart. If you think Obi-Wan Kenobi has ideologies similar to President Bartlett on the West Wing. If you think the Jedi council is secretly an appreciative nod to the legalization of marijuana. If you think of the new Star Wars movie as anything other than a, well, MOVIE.
Man, you're probably not all that fun to be around in real life.
May 19, 2005
Strong I Am With The Force. . .Okay, I Just Stink
What follows is the dialogue that just transpired whilst I sat upon an IBM toilet next to the stall of another IBMer conducting a #2. Keep in mind here that I'm very uncomfortable when it comes to using office toilets for back door deliveries, and I only use them when it's kind of an emergency.
ME: *shuffling feet, reading eWeek*
GUY IN NEXT STALL: *shuffling feet*
TIME PASSES: *More of same*
*someone comes in to use the urinals*
URINAL USER: Wow, you guys, don't sit in there too much longer. It really smells in here.
ME: *Feeling uncomfortable* Well, we do our part.
URINAL USER: I can't place all the blame on you. A couple other guys stunk it up in here awhile ago.
GUY IN NEXT STALL: *muffled cough*
ME: *shuffling feet*
URINAL USER: Man, it's ripe in here!
ME: *I start to laugh and try to hold it in, resulting in a staccato flatulence, like a machine gun, which issues forth for about three seconds*
URINAL USER: You win! You win! *washes hands and exits*
I sat on that toilet until everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, was gone.
May 18, 2005
Another Unfortunate Logo
Not as suggestive as some logos I've seen, but I could almost swear there's salad tossing going on here.
Via.
My Newsweek two cents
Newsweek screwed up. They went with a single source on a story, and that source later balked. Oops. Retraction. For me, that's pretty much the end of it. Other people can speculate on Newsweek's motives, or the White House response or what this means for the future of the media going forward. Personally, I have only a passing interest on this one.
Except for one little detail that keeps gnawing at me.
The Koran's a freakin' book! Yes, yes, I understand that there are cultural and religious aspects of this to take into account. Fine. Whatever. But man, it was a freakin' BOOK! People were rioting and killing because a freakin' book was supposedly fed into a crapper. I mean, Jeez. Forget for a moment the sheer power required of a toilet to suck down a religious tome. That's an entirely different issue.
I could take a Bible, tear it apart page by page, make paper airplanes out of each page, and throw each plane into a campfire, all the while taking pictures of the process, and post those pictures online, and I could be reasonably sure no riots would break out. Sure, I'd probably get a lot of hate mail, and people would tell me I'm going to hell, but I tend to think no one would die because of it. Why? Because it's a freakin' BOOK!
Yet, in the Middle East, a suicide bomber can detonate amongst a crowd of innocents, often with the bomber equipped with a Koran, and you'd hear nary a peep about that. Blowing up yourself, a Koran and several other devout Muslims in the name of Allah? That's understandable. An infidel flushes a Koran, and all hell breaks loose, including the killing of fellow Muslims.
I swear, I could live to be 5,000 years old, and I still wouldn't understand this screwy planet.
UPDATE: James Lileks chimes in on this issue as well.
May 17, 2005
Great. A new form of spam. Woo hoo.
I spend a little time each evening cleaning up my comment spam. I get anywhere between 5 and 15 comment spams each day, with some days going far beyond that. IP banning of those cock-knockers has become a somewhat satisfying pastime for me.
Then, today, I notice that this post has a trackback. I check the trackback and, lo and behold, I discover that it's spam. *sigh*
Trackback spam. Freakin' trackback spam. Who'da thunk it? I don't even know how they managed to get it to work. Aren't they supposed to link to my site in order for the trackback to show up on my blog? How the hell did they figure out how to do this? fuck it, I don't want to know. I just want it to stop.
I remember when blogging used to be fun, instead of a chore where I have to stay one step ahead of freakin' spammers.
Just a note to you spammers -- It doesn't work. People don't click on your obvious spams, except for the blogger who has to check your spam occasionally to see if it actually is spam. And then you get deleted (hopefully) and your spamming IP address gets banned. Links to your shitty shit in a comment spam are ignored 99.999999999 percent of the time. If people are into reading blogs, they're savvy enough to know a comment spam when they see one. Save the Internet, and your souls, by stopping your insidious spamming.
Seriously, Satan is just finishing up with his designs for a 10th circle of hell, specifically dedicated to e-mail, blog comment and blog trackback spammers. Because Satan and I are on good terms with one another, he gave me a sneak peek at the blueprints and, man, let me tell you, you will definitely not want to go there. I won't go into great detail, except to say the red hot anal poker subdivision looked particularly unpleasant: one ten second insertion for each individual spam you sent out during your lifetime.
And don't even talk to me about Satan's electronic automated groin-kicking machine. He was giggling the whole time he showed me how that thing works. It's obvious Satan is just itching to try it out. Woe be it to the first spammer to end up in hell, because Satan will no doubt practice and experiment with the groin-kicker for a good ten hours on that poor soul.
Seriously, spammers, it's time to get out of the business now. I've seen your future, and it is terrifying indeed.
ROTFLMFAO
"Britney and Kevin: Chaotic"
9 p.m., UPN
It seems like every "misunderstood" celebrity is doing a reality show these days, in some sort of effort to get her side of the story in the public eye. So it's no surprise that singer/actress/icon/Red Bull connoisseur Britney Spears, and her husband/baby daddy Kevin Federline, are taking to UPN to explain their brief courtship and surprise wedding -- using lots of home-video footage. In tonight's premiere, Spears focuses the camera on herself in between performances of her (short-lived) Onyx Hotel Tour in 2004. She finds back-up dancer Federline's honest opinions intriguing, and the two begin spending time together. I can't believe I'm actually writing this paragraph.
Yes, I deleted a post
I deleted that last post until I research the proposed gas tax a little more.
