May 19, 2005

Strong I Am With The Force. . .Okay, I Just Stink

What follows is the dialogue that just transpired whilst I sat upon an IBM toilet next to the stall of another IBMer conducting a #2. Keep in mind here that I'm very uncomfortable when it comes to using office toilets for back door deliveries, and I only use them when it's kind of an emergency.

ME: *shuffling feet, reading eWeek*

GUY IN NEXT STALL: *shuffling feet*

TIME PASSES: *More of same*

*someone comes in to use the urinals*

URINAL USER: Wow, you guys, don't sit in there too much longer. It really smells in here.

ME: *Feeling uncomfortable* Well, we do our part.

URINAL USER: I can't place all the blame on you. A couple other guys stunk it up in here awhile ago.

GUY IN NEXT STALL: *muffled cough*

ME: *shuffling feet*

URINAL USER: Man, it's ripe in here!

ME: *I start to laugh and try to hold it in, resulting in a staccato flatulence, like a machine gun, which issues forth for about three seconds*

URINAL USER: You win! You win! *washes hands and exits*

I sat on that toilet until everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, was gone.

Posted by Ryan at May 19, 2005 02:48 PM

Holy Crap, that was funny.

Posted by: Machelle at May 19, 2005 03:00 PM

LOL!!! You get the golden throne award for that one.

Posted by: Rachel Ann at May 19, 2005 03:33 PM

You're sure you're a guy, right? Because this prissy attitude about farting on toilets is really not aligned with that assertion.

Posted by: Doug at May 19, 2005 11:41 PM


Posted by: desult at May 20, 2005 02:35 AM

Doug, it wasn't so much the farting as it was the hurried "You win! You win!" as the guy left the bathroom that had me embarrassed.

Posted by: Ryan at May 20, 2005 09:12 AM


Posted by: Mike Wills at May 20, 2005 11:20 AM

Men's rooms are all about business. DO NOT TALK TO A MAN WHEN HE'S ON THE THUNDERBUCKET. Idle chitchat while on the shitter is frowned upon.

Posted by: Keith at May 20, 2005 11:34 AM

People that try to make conversation in public bathrooms should be forced to eat the urinal cake. Its just wrong.

And if someone enters and there's a stall occupied, the polite thing to do is leave them be. Damn, I thought you Mini-sodans were all about the manners?

Posted by: Johnny Huh? at May 20, 2005 01:04 PM

Hey, guys, I was just as taken aback by some guy chatting it up in the bathroom as you are. Toilet time is quiet, no conversation time. I totally agree. This guy just didn't apparently know those unwritten rules.

Posted by: Ryan at May 20, 2005 01:20 PM

"back door deliveries"?

Unfortunate word choice there, Ryan. Connotations of "Deliveries in rear" and that sort. Heh.

Posted by: Jim at May 31, 2005 10:23 AM
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