While we settle in to life with Zoey now at home, we're encountering some of the unexpected realities of caring for a baby who is still quite small and who steadfastly refuses to eat on any terms save her own. She seems to consider eating to be an annoying impediment to sleeping rather than an existential necessity.
Currently, she will only bottle feed, having apparently decided that breastfeeding is simply too much work; she much rather prefers sitting upright with a bottle in her mouth.
She's also very particular about which bottle nipples she'll deign to sup upon. She wants nothing to do with the free nipples the hospital provided--and I use the term "free" loosely here, considering the eventual final hospital costs--and instead prefers the softer Medela nipples that cost $5 for a three pack. I sometimes wonder if she's going to taste the nipple and then spit as if she's sampling a fine wine.
She also feeds in increments so tiny, it can take her nearly two hours of intermittent feedings to finish a mere two ounces of milk. While my wife and worry about such insignificant intake, Zoey seems to think it's just the right amount, thank you very much, and I guess we don't really have her expertise, so who are we to question her?
She sleeps as though she's doing a live interpretive version of the story of Rip Van Winkle, to the point I sometimes have to grasp her hand to get a reflexive response that confirms she's still with us.
When she is awake and alert, she has some of the most inquisitive looking eyes I've ever seen. She can look at once both incredibly thoughtful and simultaneously bored out of her mind. That sounds like a criticism, but trust me, it's adorable:
Obama's Domestic Agenda Led to 'Epiphany' in Bin Laden Hunt
Rhodes Media Services - WASHINGTON D.C. -- In a surprising revelation Wednesday morning, President Obama explained how he used a slightly modified version of his domestic economic policies to aid in the manhunt and eventual killing of al Queda figurehead Osama bin Laden.
In a hastily organized White House press conference, Obama explained how he woke up one early morning several months ago and had an epiphany that revealed to him that, if his economic policies--intended to spend several hundred billion dollars to save jobs and halt unemployment--could in fact actually lead to much higher unemployment, inflation, and a drawn out recession, then the same policies could be used in the global war on terror.
"Let me be clear," said Obama, pausing briefly to ensure no one would interrupt his tonal clarity. "While my domestic economic policies have admittedly fallen flat, I'm proud to announce that they worked to bring down this international terrorist."
Using fairly confusing graphs and charts, Obama showed how he ordered vast amounts of war spending in Afghanistan and Pakistan, while at the same time decreeing that all efforts must be made to save bin Laden's life. In a bizarre twist that's still not entirely understood--just as such similar measures actually killed jobs domestically so, too, did it eventually lead to bin Laden's demise.
"Again, let me be perfectly clear," said Obama to an already compliant and completely quiet crowd that was in no way impeding his clarity. "This new type of warfare should not be undertaken lightly. While it's true it can be used to rid the world of a man who needed to seriously be gotten rid of, it should in no way be used to try to prop up or otherwise save any economy anywhere across the globe. It's THAT dangerous of an idea."
Tonight is my second in a row staying at the hospital until morning. This is an exercise in preparation for taking Zoey home, hopefully tomorrow. Obviously, this is in stark contrast to the last two nights I stayed all night in the hospital all those four months ago.
For one thing, four months ago, "Family Guy" wasn't blaring on the television, vying for audible superiority over Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do, I Do For You" blasting on the overhead speaker system. It's like two circles of hell duking it out for no particular reason.
Zoey passed her car seat test tonight (one hour, with no spells or excessive fussing), and there's an expected influx of babies coming in tomorrow, so my daughter is on the discharge fast track. This time of year--this kind of optimism--seemed almost inconceivable in early January, yet here we are.
Zoey's still fairly small--not quite six pounds yet--and she still needs daily caffeine and multi-vitamin supplements. But then, so do I.
Overnight hospital accommodations aren't exactly like spending a night at the Waldorf-Astoria. I'm pretty sure the bed was constructed by a medieval rack engineer, and the room itself is so dark it can double as a sensory deprivation chamber. But, Zoey's with us, sans monitor, so there's ALMOST a sense of home.
We have a couple mole-hills yet to overcome, not the least being Zoey's continued difficulty picking up on the whole concept of feeding. She gets it, but she tires quickly, so she has to be fed during the precious few minutes she's particularly active.
All things considered, however, we're in good shape. At least until Zoey is home and I have to concentrate on freelance writing with the sound of a toddler and infant raising hell just upstairs.
That will still be nice.
