Last week, we were having connectivity problems with our high speed Internet, and our upper tier cable stations were all out. I won't divulge who our cable and high speed provider is, except to say they rhyme with Barter Glomunications.
When I called Barter to explain my situation, I was assisted by a non-native tech representative who didn't particularly represent tech very well. She was, in fact, a moron. However, she was a moron who managed to set up a time for a technician to come out to the house to check on things.
As the call was wrapping up, she went into a sales pitch. You see, Barter is all about the bundle: you can bundle high speed Internet, cable and VoIP telephone service and SAVE BIG!
I calmly explained that I didn't need a phone service because I have a cell phone. She countered that their VoIP service offers unlimited long distance, to which I responded "so does my cell service, and it's very portable." Without missing a beat, she pointed out adding VoIP service to my bundle would only cost me an additional $14 a month, to which I had to less calmly point out that would be and additional $14 a month for a phone I don't need because, I HAVE A CELL PHONE.
Honest to Vishnu, she sounded genuinely perplexed about my reasoning for not wanting the wonderful VoIP phone bundle. She actually sounded upset with me, as if I was "THIS CLOSE" to understanding how awesome the bundle was and if she could just reason with me a little longer, I see the light.
Finally, I explained the matter thusly: "Miss, I'm standing here, in my house, talking to you on my cell phone. It's a phone I can take and use anywhere, at a price that's only a few dollars more a month than what you're offering. Why in the world would I want ANOTHER phone that's tied down to this house and that I'd never conceivably use because I have my cell phone handy at all times?"
"Yes, but it's a bundle, and. . ."
*CLICK*
'Why I Gave Up Public Sex at the MSP Airport'
That's the kind of quality journalism we've come to expect from Minnesota Monitor. Cronkite wept.
Well, it turns out my computer is too old and outdated to run Medal of Honor: Airborne. It had a good run, and will be four years old come January. It's still a good machine, even by today's standards and, to be fair, it was ALMOST able to run the new game; it gave it a good old, college "try," followed by a good, old college FAIL.
I'm not sure when I'll be able to get around to buying a new one, what with having bought The Girl her ring last week. computers and rings -- that pretty much sums up life, doesn't it?
Caroline says: A headline on cnn.com: "Cheerleader creamed by players at game"
Caroline says: Football cream!
Ryan says: That just conjured all sorts of shaky H images.
Caroline says: Right on.
Ryan says: The players were much more relaxed and focused afterwards.
Ryan says: That cheerleader just took one (several, really) for the team.
Caroline says: Talk about ice packs.
Ryan says: Sometimes I think we're the most disgusting people at work, and I'm thankful for that.
Caroline says: Hallmark card
Front: Sometimes I think we're the most disgusting people at work ...
Inside: ... and I'm thankful for that.
So, I'm buying MEDAL OF HONOR: AIRBORNE, tonight.
Thing is, I typically play computer games at night, and first person shooters can be murder on the nerves, particularly before bed time. So, before buying a FPS game, I typically try to make sure there are cheats available in case I encounter particularly difficult areas that would otherwise have me yelling at my computer screen in impotent rage.
People ask me: "What's the point of playing a game if you're cheating?"
To them, I respond: "You'd have to experience killing a Nazi up close knowing there's no chance you'll die to adequately understand."
It's a very. . . relaxing. . . feeling.
Ryan says: Does "Guitar Hero" actually teach you how to play guitar?
Caroline says: I have no idea.
Ryan says: I guess that's like asking if "Medal of Honor" teaches you how to win WWII.
Caroline says: That would be cool.
Ryan says: My reasoning is, if "Guitar Hero" could teach me to play guitar, I'd be foolish not to buy it.
Caroline says: Could you return it if you didn't end up being an actual hero? Like, you're not buying something called "Moderately Adequate Guitar Player"
Ryan says: Amateur Guitar enthusiast (AGE).
Ryan says: We should come out with "Guitar Novice."
Ryan says: The first edition would be a game just dealing with properly holding a guitar.
Caroline says: Or introducing the guitar to the player.
Ryan says: Ooh, ooh, "Guitar Zero: Starting From Scratch!"
Caroline says: Guitar Newbie
Ryan says: "Guitar Nero: Burning Down The House."
Caroline says: hey ooooooooh!
Ryan says: Learn to play guitar while Rome burns.
Caroline says: Rome wasn't burnt in a day
