December 08, 2006
This post won't mean much to most of you, but. . .
The next time you encounter one of the very many worthless Blogspot blogs that cram the Internet today--the kind of blog that comes across as adolescent (moreso than mine, even), poorly thought-out, petulant, vaguely prepubescent, high pitched, pointless, tauntingly angry, stereotypical, and basically across-the-board stupid--and you think to yourself "I wonder what this moron looks like," I have it on pretty solid authority that 99.99 percent of those bloggers pretty much look like this:
That is all.
December 07, 2006
December 05, 2006
Overheard Whilst On The toilet
ME: *plop* *poot* *tut-tut-tut-tut-tut* *fweeeeeee*
URINAL PERSON #1 (UP1): *pee sounds*
URINAL PERSON #2 (UP2): *pee sounds*
UP1: How goes it today?
UP2: Oh, you know. . . it goes.
UP1: Better'n not goin', right?
UP2: Yes sir.
UP1: Looks like somebody decided to spit on the urinal.
UP2: Yup. Look at that.
UP1: That's pretty gross.
UP2: Really no excuse for that.
UP1: Just a big old loogey there. That's sick.
UP2: Yep.
UP1 and UP2 finish peeing and exit, without either A) Flushing or B) Washing their hands.
Ignore That 800 lb Gorilla in the Corner
On the plane ride to Vegas, I read this article in Time magazine: "Why We Worry About The Things We Shouldn't... ...And Ignore The Things We Should." Basically, it tries to explain why we worry about things that probably won't kill us, like, say, Bird Flu, or Mad Cow Disease, or plane crashes, and ignore the real "risks," like driving.
And, oh how the article finds reasons. Reasons after reasons, including: Part of the problem we have with evaluating risk, scientists say, is that we're moving through the modern world with what is, in many respects, a prehistoric brain. We may think we've grown accustomed to living in a predator-free environment in which most of the dangers of the wild have been driven away or fenced off, but our central nervous system--evolving at a glacial pace--hasn't got the message.
Which, you know what? Fine. I'll give them that as a possibility. Okay. But you know what? In that entire article, that entire article meant to explore why people worry about the things they do, one thing was never mentioned. Hell, it wasn't even hinted at. And, in my mind, it's probably about the biggest, most obvious reason in the world for why people excessively worry about stupid shit that probably won't kill you. Can you think of what I'm referring to?
THE MEDIA! Excessive media coverage about stupid shit that doesn't matter! Sure, no one has actually DIED from Mad Cow disease, but you'd certainly think so.
But, never mind me. I'm just sayin'.
Dark Knight. Heath Ledger. Batman. The Joker. Dark Knight. Heath Ledger. Batman. The Joker. Dark Knight. Heath Ledger. Batman. The Joker.
Annnd, I'm back
Sadly, I only won about $20 total, although at one point I was up about $350, but then the roulette wheel had its way with me, which is to say it whipped me like the bad boy I am.
Saw this guy in a Riviera comedy club though, and he was HI-FREAKIN'-STERICAL.
