December 05, 2006

Overheard Whilst On The toilet

ME: *plop* *poot* *tut-tut-tut-tut-tut* *fweeeeeee*

URINAL PERSON #1 (UP1): *pee sounds*

URINAL PERSON #2 (UP2): *pee sounds*

UP1: How goes it today?

UP2: Oh, you know. . . it goes.

UP1: Better'n not goin', right?

UP2: Yes sir.

UP1: Looks like somebody decided to spit on the urinal.

UP2: Yup. Look at that.

UP1: That's pretty gross.

UP2: Really no excuse for that.

UP1: Just a big old loogey there. That's sick.

UP2: Yep.

UP1 and UP2 finish peeing and exit, without either A) Flushing or B) Washing their hands.

Posted by Ryan at December 5, 2006 03:38 PM | TrackBack

Two things, people who have conversations while pissing are fucking annoying, second, if you've been holding your junk, either for fun or for pissing then wash your goddamned hands.

What I don't get is the guy who flushes the toilet before he craps, during his crap and then again after he's done crapping. Does he think water grows on freakin' trees or something?

Posted by: Erik at December 5, 2006 07:33 PM

Here's my theory on washing after taking a piss. If you're in a hurry, I think it's ok to skip it. Is my weiner really that dirty? Hell, if a chick can put it in her mouth for a few minutes, I think it's ok for me to touch it for a couple of seconds and go about my business.

Posted by: Rick at December 6, 2006 09:55 AM

Here's the thing though, Rick. It's not about MY weiner, which I can attest to be pretty clean. Rather, at least for those urinals that aren't yet "electronic eye" activated, you still have to pull that flusher knob, which is swimming with the wang residue of countless other urinal users. Otherwise, I agree with you.

Posted by: Ryan at December 6, 2006 10:07 AM

I work in a law firm.

Lawyers often take files into the stall with them, so that they can work while taking a grumpy. Said files are eventually handed over to secretaries, after spending time with Mr. Poopy Hands, who obviously is going to be handling the files again before he gets a chance to wash his hands. Never mind the organic backscatter all over the floor.


Posted by: Keith at December 6, 2006 12:19 PM

I think you are all coprophiliacs.

Posted by: AlgerHyss at December 7, 2006 07:19 AM

When I've been in restaurant restrooms and seen this happen, I've been strongly tempted to go to the table where he is sitting and telling the whole party what he just did. I do plan to actually do this in the near future. That'll teach him.

Posted by: Tom at December 7, 2006 02:34 PM

You know who I see doing this the most? Middle aged to 60ish year old men. They don't seem to understand the whole world of germs and genital diseases. To them it's still 1975.

Posted by: Oorgo at December 7, 2006 04:45 PM

Ryan, the solution for most of those guys who have clean peeners is to simply not flush.

But they still have to grab the door handle to open the door.

There's one guy in my building who doesn't wash and, coincidentally, he's a shuffling slob of a bachelor.

AlgerHyss, I'd rather be a coprophiliac than a coprophage. Although perhaps it should be point out that this was about urinal hygiene and not crapper hygiene.

Posted by: Erik at December 8, 2006 05:09 PM


OMG I'm so glad I didn't have a mouthful of coffee when I read that.

Posted by: Bill C at December 14, 2006 01:01 PM

Look, you may think your wang is clean, but I don't--I guess I'm just a skeptic.

I work in a computer lab, and no one who goes to the bathroom in my building washes his hands (except a few people--I am one of those people). These unhygienic fiends then go into my lab and touch the mice and keyboards. Ug.

Posted by: Shaltok at December 14, 2006 10:53 PM

"Wang residue" - Great name for a band!

Posted by: Chad at December 14, 2006 11:47 PM
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