January 12, 2009

Monday Gross Out Convo

Caroline says: "Your dad and friends" would be a great sitcom title. If it was about your story when you came out of a swimming pool with a condom on your shoulder, it would be "Your dad and shoulder condoms."

Ryan says: Or. . . "Shouldering Your Dad's Burden." Okay, I just threw up a little bit, in my mouth.

Caroline says: I didn't realize it was possible, but you not having any distractions has made you more disgusting.

Ryan says: What's worse, from now on there's a very real possibility I'll equate "ejaculation" with "burden."

Ryan says: "Ejaculation with Burden" would be a great name for a rock band.

Caroline says: And, thanks to you, now I'll equate the little MSN notification sound to some very disgusting thoughts of yours. I have it worse.

Ryan says: Actually, now that I think about it, "Ejaculation with Burden" could be a self-help book, with the narrator named Burden. Together with Burden, you'll learn how to reach ejaculation carefully and efficiently, with no messy clean-up.

Caroline says: Can one of the book chapters please be called "Splort!"?

Ryan says: That would obviously be the last chapter.

Caroline says: Oh, I assumed the final chapter would be called "Burden's Balls: Sometimes Premature Ejaculation Happens. Don't let it get you down."

Ryan says: That's a mouthful. . .

Caroline says: Well, if you swish it around in there for a few minutes, it's easier to swallow.

Ryan says: I'll have to defer to your expertise in this particular instance.

Caroline says: Just so you know, I'm leaving because of the weather, just in case you've e-mailed me anymore disgusting thoughts and haven't heard back from me ... it's not because I'm dry heaving in the bathroom. It's because I'm home.

Posted by Ryan at January 12, 2009 11:54 AM | TrackBack
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