August 15, 2008

Cheap Thrill

After reading this, I feel compelled to say. . .

Tard. Retard. Retarded.

If you're retarded, and you die and come back as a retarded person, you have been reintardated, having undergone the mystical karmic process of reintardation.

A retarded Yosemite Sam would probably say something along the lines of "What in tardation are you talking about?!"

A retarded person in court should always feel free to play the "Race Tard."

A retarded person trying to buy cigarettes or alcohol should always be tarded by the cashier.

Retarded people travelling overseas should always carry the American Express Tard. In fact, they shouldn't leave home without it.

A horny retarded man should never be ashamed of his tard-on. Additionally, it should be understood that it takes time to develop a tard-on, because they're generally slow. A fully-developed tard-on should always be encouraged, even if it means presenting it with a "Participation" ribbon.

Okay, I'm done.

Posted by Ryan at August 15, 2008 09:21 AM | TrackBack

What the hell are you on.. and why aren't you sharing it?

Posted by: OMG at August 15, 2008 11:33 PM

I am adding reintardation to my Fictionarium. What an awesome word. I get the point of the op-ed piece but come on, the movie is supposed to be non-PC.

Oh, and one more. What does a retard drink when they want to get drunk? Mike's Tard Lemonade.

Posted by: Erik at August 16, 2008 10:09 AM

Mike's Tard Lemonade. . .

Whey the HELL didn't I think of that?

Isn't it weird, though, how people have grown to believe they have a right NOT to be offended?

Posted by: Ryan at August 16, 2008 12:47 PM

oh you are soooo going to hell. Funny, but you are still going to hell. See ya there!

Posted by: the sisterinlaw at August 18, 2008 03:53 PM
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