April 05, 2002

Not much on the news

Not much on the news front today. Hey, we can't always live in interesting times. I could gnaw at the news bones of the Palestinian/Israeli thing, but why bother? There's a news item about al Queda and Taliban fighter offering rewards for dead (or alive) westerners. That's comforting. That reminds me of something my officemate mentioned about Osama bin Laden having a blog. Of course, he doesn't, but it was still an entertaining thought. So. . .

blogging bin Laden
Hello again, my faithful freedom fighters. It has been a tough day here in the cave, but it's Friday, so huzzah! I think Hasim Mohommed is planning a surpise poker game tonight in cave 13B. He is a very fun loving fundamentalist. He has managed to keep very high spirits despite losing his leg to a daisy cutter. He's our favorite hobbling Arab. Ha ha. It was a pretty cold night last night, so I cuddled with Omar Achmed. No, there was none of that. As many of you know, our glorious war against America is not going too well. Honestly, you blow a hole in a ship or bomb an embassy, and they simply shrug their shoulders and say "oh, that crazy bin Laden." But, you go and knock down a couple of buildings and it suddenly becomes, "Hey, that bin Laden is CRAZY!!" Okay, I admit, the whole Sept. 11 thing was a pretty bad idea. But, all the guys kept daring me to do it and saying annoying things like "bin Laden is a chicken," so really, what could I do? I guess I expected America to get a little mad, but who could have guessed they would wipe away the Taliban in a few short months? Oops. But enough about that. I have been experimenting with a new look, mainly because everyone is telling me the whole "Osama bin Laden" look is bound to get me killed one of these days. Ha ha. I would like to look like that Brad Pitt infidel. He would look quite striking in a turban. On a sad note, I dropped my favorite AK-47 yesterday (you know, the one that appears in all those pictures of me) and I bent the barrel. I wasn't sure if I wanted to shoot it, so I asked Mohommed Mohommed to test fire it. The backfire took off much of his face, but he survived. He'll be at the poker game tonight. What a great bunch of guys. That's it for now. Until next time, keep on fighting. OBL.

Posted by Ryan at April 5, 2002 01:03 PM
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