July 19, 2002

And Iranian Justice for All

And Iranian Justice for All

Here in America, if you've been indicted as a co-conspirator in the worst terrorist attack on US soil, and you try to enter a guilty plea, the judge may actually send you back to your jail cell to think hard and long about it (see Zacarias Moussaoui trial story). But in Iran, things work a little bit different. I'm referring, of course, to my beloved news of the odd.

Killer, Rapist to Be Thrown Off Cliff in Sack

TEHRAN (Reuters) - An Iranian man, convicted for raping and killing his 16-year-old nephew, will be executed by being thrown off a cliff in a sack, a newspaper reported on Thursday.

Now that's a tough judicial system! Imagine death row in Iran, with inmates praticing for their eventual cliff toss by slamming themselves repeatedly against the walls and their steel beds. "I WILL survive the cliff toss! I WILL survive the cliff toss!" Alas, such preparation would be in vain.

If the unnamed man survives the fall down a rocky precipice, he will be hanged, legal experts said. He has 20 days to appeal the court sentence.

Here's a thought. Maybe they could forego the whole "tossing him over the cliff in a sack" formality and skip right to the hanging. You know, save the Iranian people the tax expense for dry cleaning all those cliff tossing sacks. What really gets me about that sentence is "legal experts said." What kind of law school did these experts graduate from? "Let's see, I'll have to consult the precendents set in this case. I'm a little rusty in the area of cliff tossing.' I'm pretty well versed in 'hand and foot chopping,' but it's been awhile since I've tried a case involving the cliff tossing treatment."

Under Iran's Islamic law, applied since the 1979 revolution, pederasty, homosexuality and adultery are among a long list of crimes punishable by death.

I'm betting they don't watch a lot of "Will and Grace" over there in Iran.

Posted by Ryan at July 19, 2002 02:03 PM
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