April 16, 2003

Operation "Iraqi Nickname" Underway Complex

Operation "Iraqi Nickname" Underway
Complex Arabic Names Too Tough To Remember

WASHINGTON D.C. (Rhodes Media Services) -- Responding to repeated requests from coalition commanders in Iraq, the Pentagon today launched Operation "Iraqi Nickname" so forces on the ground can better identify top Ba'ath party leaders without having to remember difficult and long Arabic names.

According to anonymous sources, "Iraqi Nickname" has actually been in operation for some time, but it was only enforced in some of the more obvious cases. General Ali Hassan al-Majid, better known as "Chemical Ali," was one of the first individuals to be tartgeted by the operation, followed quickly by Muhammed Saeed Al-Sahaaf, now better known as "Baghdad Bob." Rihab Taha, now known as "Dr. Germ", was the most recently targeted individual.

"When you think about it, correctly pronouncing -- hell, remembering -- all those long Arabic names is probably more difficult than actually fighting a war," said U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. "You should see the whiteboard in my office. It's covered with all these crazy names I can't even begin to remember, like Iraq's Minister of Agriculture, Abdallah Hamid Mahmud al. . .whatever. It's just easier to call him 'Abby the Farmer.' I, for one, can definitely say this has made my job a whole hell of a lot easier."

According to an updated list of targeted Ba'ath leadership, other renamed individuals include the former Iraqi defense minister, Lt. Gen Sultan Hashim Ahmad al-Jabburi Tai, now known as "General Tai Food," the former finance minister, Hikmat Mizban Ibrahim al-Azzawi, now known as "Money Man Mizban," and the former minister of oil, Amir Rashid Muhammad al-Ubaydi, now known as "Jed Clampett Amir."

Posted by Ryan at April 16, 2003 04:49 PM
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