April 18, 2003

A New Approach To Fitness

A New Approach To Fitness

I could, I suppose, join a nice health club where they have big, expensive equipment, and water fountains are plentiful. I could do that, but I'm deeply afraid I may end up accidentally enrolling in one of those newfangled dominatrix fitness centers.

According to an April 16 Reuters news article out of New York, Students at "Slavercise," a class in New York combining sadomasochism and exercise, get a physical workout by 'submitting' to the orders and whims of a dominatrix named Mistress Victoria.

I can just imagine myself unwittingly walking into such a place, you know, just to check things out, when suddenly I find myself being physically beaten and told to run in place and do jumping jacks, or else. . .

She orders the class around with a riding crop, dangerously pointed stiletto heels and, naturally, a dominating manner.

"If you don't keep up, you get punished," she warned her students at a recent class, which she oversaw with a nonstop string of insults and orders. "I don't want to hear any whimpering. You're here to suffer. I expect complete obedience, or I'll give you a good spanking. Do what I tell you to do. I don't care if it hurts."

Maybe I'm just being old fashioned here, but such an exercise routine simply doesn't sound like that much fun to me. It's hard enough to maintain a good pace during a five mile run without a woman chasing after me with a riding crop and pointed heels.

Clad in face masks, dog collars, rubber suits and other sartorial S&M paraphernalia, Mistress Victoria's students run through the exercise regimen, knowing any slacking off will bring her wrath down upon them.

You know, given a choice, I think I'll take my chances with my current exercise regimen. That Mistress Victoria just sounds kind of mean.

Posted by Ryan at April 18, 2003 11:16 AM
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