July 17, 2003

A Swashbuckling Good Time

After a drop-dead awesome Indian meal consisting of chicken korma dipped in naan (courtesy of Rochester's India Garden restaurant), Melissa and I decided last night to go to a movie. Our choice: Pirates of the Caribbean. All I can say is: go see this flick. You'd never think it was a Disney flick, with all the killing and skeletons and bad teeth and the unknown actress who kept nipping out (Google search reveals her to be one Keira Knightly, and I'd very much like to have sex with her).

I don't normally like high seas pirate adventures, because they all seem cut from the same old boring slab of pirate stone. But, this movie was just fun from start to finish, and I'm obligated to like any movie that features a pirate crew consisting of skeletons and desiccating corpses. Trust me, you have to see the movie to understand what I mean. Oh, and the best line of the entire movie, which was apparently lost on everyone in the theater except me, was a mention of the city of Troy. "This is like what the Greeks did at Troy... Except they were in a horse instead of dresses." Ain't that the truth.

But the real savior of the movie (except for Knightly nipping out, I mean) was the performance of Johnny Depp as Capt. Jack Sparrow. It was just obvious that he had an absolute blast playing this role. You wouldn't think a man would be up to the challenge of portraying a seemingly perpetual drunk, slightly effeminate, genius pirate, but somehow he manages to do just that. Come to think of it, I think I may have been perfect for the role, but whatever.

I spent the first 20 minutes or so of the movie trying to figure out who one of the heroes was, and then it dawned on me he was Legolas from Lord of the Rings (Orlando Bloom, without the ridiculous long blonde hair and pointed ears). He did all right, but he paled in comparison to Depp. Bloom was working; Depp was having fun.

Go for Depp's acting. Go for the skeleton pirate crew. Go, go, go for Knightly's nipples. But most of all, just go. Marvin K. Mooney, will you please go now?

Posted by Ryan at July 17, 2003 01:41 PM
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