July 17, 2003

Can't Argue With That

Many of the great ideas of mankind came about through arguments and discussions, intelligent and insightful back-and-forth between two or more people determined to reach a conclusion on a topic on which they disagreed. And then someone came along and chucked a grenade and spoiled everything.

According to a Reuters news item out of Belgrade, An elderly Serb ended a heated argument with his neighbor by lobbing a hand grenade and severing the man's arm, Tanjug news agency said Tuesday.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "now, where can I pick up a nice crate of argument grenades?" Okay, you're probably not thinking that.

Now, I know firsthand what a grenade can do, owing primarily to the fact that I, in an act of stupidity not soon to be surpassed, detonated a grenade in my backyard, with me standing not even four feet away, when I was at the ripe old age of 21. I emerged from the horrifying incident remarkably unscathed, albeit with a ringing in my left ear that didn't subside for four days.

Milan Djokic, 70, was charged with attempted murder and illegal weapons possession after attacking Slavko Grujic, also 70, in the northern town of Zrenjanin Monday.

Given my grenade experience, I can tell you, with a certain amount of authority, that a grenade is NOT an effective argumentation device. For one thing, a grenade, upon detonation, is extremely loud, so you may miss out on a key verbal repost from the person you're arguing with.

DJOKIC: Now, see here! Your stance on the current Iraq situation is dead wrong! You are completely missing the point of my meticulously thought out argument, and I simply must protest with the obligatory toss of a grenade. *throws grenade*

GRUJIC: No, no, no! It is you who are mistaken, and your argument is deeply flawed. You see, if you simply look at Iraq, you'll see that. . . *Boooooom!*

DJOKIC: Wait, wait! What did you just say? I missed that last part! The exploding grenade completely drowned you out. I'm sorry, could you repeat yourself?

GRUJIC: My arm! My arm! My precious arm! That grenade you threw blew off my arm!

DJOKIC: No, it was not the grenade that blew off your arm. Rather, it was the large rock that the exploding grenade sent flying at you that severed your arm. Please have your facts straight the next time we decide to argue.

Grujic first caught the grenade and threw it back, but the device exploded on a second try by Djokic. Tanjug did not say what they were arguing about.

Is it just me, or does this have all the makings of a kick-ass game show?

Raylene Richards. Raylene Richards. Raylene Richards. Raylene Richards. Raylene Richards. Raylene Richards.

Posted by Ryan at July 17, 2003 04:18 PM
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