July 16, 2003

A Bad Meal

Wednesday is turkey and stuffing day in the IBM cafeteria, which means if nothing else catches your eye, you can load up with a heaping helping of turkey and stuffing. Today I finally realized just how awful IBM turkey and stuffing actually is.

I opted for a turkey sandwich on wheat bread, slathered with the most watery tan gravy I think I've ever ingested. The turkey, though consisting of large chunks, flaked apart like 20 year old particle board. And it was dry. Oh so dry. It was like shoving turkey flavored-sand in my mouth.

For the first time that I can recall, I had to pause while eating, because the excessively dry bolus of turkey, bread and gravy snaked down my throat at a speed so slow you'd think time had stopped within my body. And I had nothing to wash it down with. No water. No milk. No Diet Pepsi. Nothing. I just had to sit there and wait for the food wad to squish down to my stomach. It felt like ages, I tell you. Ages!

But nothing could prepare me for the stuffing, which was more or less wet bread with burnt black edges, spiced with something that tasted suspiciously like cinnamon.

Thus defeated, I pushed my plate away and came back to my office. I'm still hungry, but I'm not THAT hungry. Yuck.

UPDATE: You know, when Michele at A Small Victory links to you, you get a lot of fucking page views in a very short period of time. I respect and admire that. And now I'm pondering masturbation of some sort.

Posted by Ryan at July 16, 2003 01:39 PM
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