July 16, 2003

Jill Nelson In The Crosshairs

Where would I be without Jill Nelson lobbing up big soft squishy logic softballs for me to hit out of the park? It seems every time she takes out her pen and writes something, it just screams to be ripped apart. She's a cliche-ridden gasbag who is convinced America is on the verge of goose stepping Nazism. She parodies herself. But, don't take my words for it, take her's:

NEW YORK, July 15 — Each day, it seems, another American soldier is killed in Iraq, even though the war has long "ended." It's difficult to imagine the anguish of the parents and loved ones of these young men and women who have died after major military combat was declared over, especially since the house of cards that the Bush administration used to justify the invasion is crumbling like a sandcastle during high tide.

Ooh, that's evocative. Which is it? A house of cards or a crumbling sandcastle? Doesn't this woman have an editor? Let me just take a moment to shred her opening statement. She uses a lead salvo invoked by every anti-war, Saddam-ain't-so-bad, quagmire gloom and doomer. Namely, a U.S. soldier is killed every day in Iraq. Well, let's look at the numbers here.

Let's see, a conservative estimate puts 100,000 U.S. troops in Iraq. Let's say one soldier dies each day, a victim of a disgruntled AK-47 weilding jihadist. That puts the liklihood of daily soldier death in Iraq at .0001 percent. That doesn't erase the tragedy of a soldier's death, far from it. But, this is a hot post-war zone we're talking about people. Just because the war itself is over doesn't mean the troops can lower their weapons, kick up their boots and take things easy.

YESTERDAY, GEORGE W. BUSH, looking more than ever like the befuddled Alfred E. Newman of MAD magazine fame, insisted that the intelligence used to justify the war was "darn good." This in the face of clear evidence that his allegation in his State of the Union message that Iraq had tried to buy uranium from the African nation of Niger was untrue, and that high-ranking members of his administration knew it.

If that's all the Democrats have to work with in 2004, they're pretty much fucked. The quote little Jill is talking about is: "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." This is an intelligence report that Britain still stands behind. So how, exactly, did Bush lie here? Anyone? Bueller? And you just gotta love her vague "high-ranking members of his administration" allegation. Does she mean the member who actually doesn't exist, or someone else?

And where are the so-called "weapons of mass destruction"? Where are the jubilant, "liberated" Iraqi citizens dancing in the streets? Where, oh where, is Saddam Hussein? Or Osama bin-Laden for that matter?

I wonder, sometimes, what the nay-sayers will say if a truck full of anthrax is discovered buried in Iraq, when their WMD carpet is yanked out from under their feet. What spin do you think they'll use. I guess we'll have to wait and see. Excuse me, but how long, exactly, are the Iraqi citizens supposed to be jubilant and dance in the streets. You'd think they'd get awfully tired feet after two fricken' months. They may not be dancing around any more, but neither are they swarming over our troops like locusts. They're giving us the time and benefit of the doubt that we'll get things up and running. Not in Jill's mind of course, but there's little room left in Jill's mind for anything other than her virulent hatred of all things Bush.

In spite of the administration's arrogant assurances that the war would be short and convincing, that the Iraqi military would immediately crumble, that "shock and awe" would allow U.S. and British forces to fight a fairly bloodless war, what has happened?

Oh, I know! I know! A fairly bloodless war! Next question please.

From the onset of this corrupt and opportunistic military action there has been Iraqi resistance. And now that the official, brought-to-you-by-the-hawks war of the Bush administration has ended, the real war has started. This is the guerilla war, no matter what the administration wants to call it, in which attacks against U.S. facilities and troops are constant and casualties higher than during the "real" war. This is the war without a Big Bad Wolf named Saddam Hussein to point to and declare the bogeyman, a war led by Iraqis who, much as they despised Saddam, resist the invasion and occupation of their country.

Yeah, a real sophisticated guerilla war they have going on there. Top of the line guerilla tactics. The nutballs who stormed Columbine High School were more organized than the rabble taking pot shots at U.S. troops in Iraq.

Yet it seems that when it comes to the war in Iraq and the Bush administration, Americans insist on pulling the covers over our heads and living in the midst of a fractured fairy tale, steadfastly refusing to wake up and recognize the very real nightmare that surrounds us.

Um, no, Americans are content and realistic enough to realize that rebuilding Iraqi infrastructure and trust, while sweeping away Ba'ath party clingers will take a little while.

Even in the face of new evidence every day that the administration knowingly used faulty intelligence, lied about Iraqi resistance, was determined to invade Iraq come hell or high water, and manipulated public opinion with lies about "weapons of mass destruction," much of America seems undisturbed.

Yeah, I'm undisturbed because blanket statements like that one are so flawed they border on lies themselves.

No matter that hundreds of American, British and Iraqi lives have been, and continue to be, lost. No matter that no one has any idea where Saddam, the alleged object of our wrath and invasion, is.

Wait a minute, I thought WMD was the object of our invasion. I'm so confused now.

No matter that many Iraqis feel less safe now living under the regime of their American "liberators" than they did under their homegrown dictator.

Here's where the tinfoil hat-wearing nonsense comes in. In Jill's convoluted world, things were somehow better under Saddam. Brianna. Banks. Brianna. Brianna Banks. Banks. Stormy. Sexy. Ashley. Robbins. Sandra. Shine. Sandra.

As Americans, we should all be casting a cold, critical, and unrelenting eye on George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, and all the other members of the Bush Gang who lied us into this quagmire.

Yes! She said it! Quagmire! I can't believe it took her so long. I was beginning to get worried. Quagmire my ass. Now, Germany's push into Russia in WWII; that was a quagmire. The decade-long fuck-fest known as Vietnam; that was a quagmire. Iraq after four months? Quagmire my ass.

I understand that many Americans are frightened and overwhelmed, and that our government has made it clear that to question policy is to be at best unpatriotic, at worst treasonous. Yet we cannot let fear stop us from our obligation to participate in democracy.

I know that when I question our pathetic homeland security, the pathetic economy, and everything else that's pathetic about Bush and company, I'm worried the men in black suits are going to show up and clamp on the leg irons and drag me away to a dark room with needles and red hot pokers. If this truly was the rabid police state of fear and intimidation that Jill likes to make it out to be, then her sloppily written tripe wouldn't be gracing the pages of MSNBC.com now would it.

It's clear that Iraq is not the end of the administration's objectives. They are already roiling the waters against Iran and, more cautiously, North Korea. As they do so, our ability to bury our heads under the covers and ignore what's going on steadily decreases.

Did you know we're roiling the waters against Iran and North Korea? I must have missed that week. As for the Jill Nelson cliche-watch, please note the "bury our heads under the covers" bit. Could this woman PLEASE have an original thought!

Where is the little child of the fairy tale brave enough to see the truth and declare, "The emperor has no clothes!" Probably in hiding. If he appeared in this American town square, the people would likely stone or bludgeon him to death.

No, we'd probably just ignore him.

Posted by Ryan at July 16, 2003 11:10 AM
Post a comment

Remember personal info?

StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!