October 07, 2003

Getting The Axe

So, last night, I realized I needed toilet paper. I had exhausted my 32 roll horde I purchased many weeks ago. And, because I'm a particularly huge fan of taking a crap at home, I decided to go forth in search of butt wiping goodness.

Of course, any trip I make to the grocery store becomes an "I also need" excursion. Oh, I also need deodorant. I also need detergent. I also need milk. You know, the usual.

Now, normally, I'm not a sucker for advertising. I have my standby brand-name purchases. I always buy Tide, because that's what I've always used. I always buy Charmin, because that's what I always buy. I tend to rotate anti-perspirants, because my pits build up a tolerance so I end up switching brands to confuse them and stop them from leaking sweat beads. Still, I stay pretty loyal to Right Guard.

But, last night, I saw Axe body spray. And then, for some strange reason, I envisioned myself getting on an elevator with a hot chick who just can't resist my manly perfumed body, and she rakes at me with wild lust. You know, just like in the commercial. After that, I wasn't able to control myself. I HAD to have Axe body spray. And I don't mean just one bottle, either. I bought TWO. Different fragrances, of course.

Just for the record, the two fragrances I bought, "Voodoo" and "Tsunami," are quite pleasant.

So far today, I haven't been approached by even one female, let alone seduced on an elevator, but I remain optimistic.

Posted by Ryan at October 7, 2003 01:55 PM
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