Rambling Rhodes

Parodying That Which Defies Parody

Taking the ball from these fine folks, I decided go one further and provide my own commentary.

Mr. Beaknose Scowlbrow is shown here scowling at his framed certificate of achievement from Brylcreem University.

Sarah "Squarehead" McNoNeck, shown here sporting her signature olfactory glasses, explains to prosecutors how it's possible to have ears that apparently exist on the back of her head.

The ever androgynous Gary Busey, caught here after his/her left eye fell out of the socket, explains how you, too, can morph your nose into one that resembles that of Lord Voldemort.

In this action-packed frame, Scowlbrow explains to Busey the benefits of an education from Brylcreem University, while Scowlbrow's assistant, Forehead ForMiles, the only known man to have an eye for a nose, sniffs out the fine print of Scowlbrow's certificate and suspects it may be a fake.

Here, Busey clearly is showing the strains of being lectured about Brylcreem University, with his/her now corpselike face retreating even further into his/her neck. Try as he/she might, the only response he/she could muster was "You rang?"

Busey manages to compose him/herself ever so slightly, managing to change out of her previous square earrings into something a bit rounder. The left eye remained out of the socket and was last seen rolling towards the courtroom door. In the interim between this frame and last, a rogue ferret ferociously attacked Busey's left cheek and also made off with Busey's upper lip.

In a shocking twist that left the courtroom dumbfounded, Busey contorted his/her face into a passable visage of former U.S. President George W. Bush.

Scowlbrow forcefully explains to Busey that such facial contortions will not be allowed in the courtroom. Busey responds by letting all discernible facial features practically disappear.

In this frankly terrifying illustration, John Kerry is seen attempting to hug a hesitant David Spade as the 2004 election results were announced. Kerry's nose is an approximation, although it may have been seriously broken, considering the vast quantity of tears gushing forth.

Calendar Year

Ryan: This month should be re-named "Suck-member."

Ryan: And, yes, I see what I did there.

Caroline: It's good that you acknowledge that right after you said it.

Ryan: You ever notice that some of the coldest months end in "ber."

Ryan: Lousy Gregorian calendar. . .

Caroline: humorless bitches

Ryan: A Geodian calendar would be super awesome.

Ryan: Damn-You-Hairy.

Ryan: Fem-u-ary.

Caroline: Cock-Over

Ryan: LOLO!

Ryan: Decent-member.

Carolinevitse: Lame-pril

Ryan: Will.

Caroline: huh?

Ryan: Instead of "May." It's complicated. You wouldn't understand.

Caroline: uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. Oh I understand.

Caroline: Geodian calendar should be named after dickbags! Good thing Coleman can't be turned into a month name.

Ryan: Knows-Stuff-uary.

Caroline: Nobody's-Monkey-ber

Ryan: Hrf! Crappy-Column-tober.

Dreams

I had a dream Sunday morning wherein the furnace was ablaze. I was frantically trying to put it out when my wife yelled downstairs, "It's fucking hot up here!" To which I responded "The fucking furnace is on fire!"

It seemed very dramatic at the time, but in retrospect it's funny as all hell.