June 12, 2009
Hollow Cost
Ryan says: Tough day: http://www.startribune.com/local/47918372.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4OW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUUs
Caroline says: That sounds like a hot mess.
Ryan says: D'oh, I hit a deer! A female deer! D'oh, I hit the pavement! D'oh, I got hit by a car!
Caroline says: See, if those were the lyrics in Sound of Music, it'd be more entertaining. Nazis are boring.
Ryan says: Not if you're in Auschwitz.
Caroline says: cnn.com is awesome. "Dog eats bag of pot, gets high"
Ryan says: Better than, "Dogs eats bag of pot, kills self."
Caroline says: "Dog found with rope tied around neck and genitals after eating bag of pot."
Caroline says: and don't worry: there's a video that accompanies the stoned-dog story
Ryan says: Seriously?!!!!!
Caroline says: I wouldn't joke about such things.
Caroline says: The pot turned his eyes two different colors!
Ryan says: Okay, so. . . I couldn't watch the CNN.com video, so I went to YouTube and searched on "dog eats pot." A lot more results than you would expect.
Caroline says: I would expect many, actually. It's YouTube, after all.
Caroline says: The stoned dogs are probably also writing comments on YouTube.
Ryan says: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNTUlsOYuPU
Caroline says: I've seen that commercial before!
Caroline says: How would you like to be the asshole who has to report on a dog eating pot?
Ryan says: I don't know. What I do know, is that doing a YouTube search on "dog eats pot" is basically like following the rabbit down the hole.
Caroline says: Is the rabbit high?
Ryan says: I went from videos of stoned dogs, to a guy who ate dog shit to score some weed.
Caroline says: I see the connection there.
Ryan says: See? I can't have this kind of fun when I work downtown.
Caroline says: It's sad.
Ryan says: I was mournfully going through Teen Girl Squad episodes last night.
Caroline says: I miss thsoe.
Caroline says: those, even
Ryan says: Name your next child "Thsoe."
Ryan says: Rhymes with "Chloe."
Caroline says: I love General Those's chicken.
Ryan says: Not to be confused with Those Generals' chicken.
Caroline says: Them Generals.
Ryan says: Them Generals' chicken will have to do battle against Colonel Sanders and his chicken army.
Ryan says: The results are sure to be fowl.
Caroline says: What a cluckin' mess
Ryan says: That doesn't even scratch the surface.
Ryan says: Might as well get a "Fart Rooster" reference out of the way.
Caroline says: Not so finger-lickin' good, huh?
Ryan says: I'm not digging the new grilled chicken at KFC.
Caroline says: What was wrong with the grilled chicken.
Ryan says: I haven't tried it. Kentucky Grilled Chicken just doesn't have the right ring to it.
Ryan says: KGC just sounds like a Soviet era spy network.
June 11, 2009
Humor Deficient
It has to be said: whenever John Hodgman appears on the Daily Show, you pretty much have to prepare yourself for a seriously unfunny segment. Even the audience seems to be laughing mostly out of strained pity.
