August 24, 2013

Diet Pepsi and Me

I drink a lot of Diet Pepsi. As in, I drink a disturbing amount of Diet Pepsi. I drink so much Diet Pepsi, Iím pretty sure I sweat Diet Pepsi.

I really, REALLY started to appreciate just how much Diet Pepsi I drink when I arrived for work in our store last week, and there was a voicemail waiting on our phone left by the people from the store across the street. The message informed me they had received a new shipment of Diet Pepsi.

I should note here: the store across the street from our store is a flower shop.

To reiterate: I drink so much Diet Pepsi, the FLOWER SHOP across the street left a message at our store informing me they had a new shipment of Diet Pepsi. I apparently represent enough of their business to warrant a courtesy call. Sure, they deal primarily with seeds, flowers, shrubs and topiaries, but Iím the Diet Pepsi guy who REALLY pays the bills.

While I genuinely appreciated the courtesy call, I had to inform the flower shop that I wouldnít be requiring their Diet Pepsi services for awhile because. . . I had just recently won a yearís supply worth of Diet Pepsi. Thatís because, I drink so much Diet Pepsi, I entered a bunch of Diet Pepsi codes over the course of about two months, and one of the prizes I won was a yearís supply worth of Diet Pepsi.

Youíll notice I wrote ďONE of the prizes I won.Ē I wrote that specifically because I won SEVERAL different prizes over the course of about two months. In fact, a quick tally of the prizes I won includes:

- A yearís supply worth of Diet Pepsi: WHICH, technically, was 48 coupons, each good for a free 12-pack of cans of the Pepsi product of my choice. To most mortals, that may sound like a lot, but for me thatís woefully disappointing and will only actually last me a couple months, at most.

- A huge Pepsi beach towel: I donít even live anywhere near a beach but, hey, FREE TOWEL!

- A Pepsi tee-shirt: Because you can never have too many tee-shirts.

- A Pepsi baseball cap: Because my son might enjoy wearing it some day.

- A Pepsi tote bag: I donít even tote things, but whatever.

- ANOTHER Pepsi tote bag: Because if youíre not going to tote anything, you might as well do it twice as much.

- A Pepsi serving tray custom designed by some guy named Vern Yip: This could very well end up being the most useless thing Iíve ever won.

- A Pepsi Frisbee target game: Just in time for winter!

Keeping in mind, the preceding list represents just a single contest. Over the last six years, Iíve also won 46 Major League Baseball capsóI won so many of those caps, I sent one out to practically everyone I know and donít knowóa Flip video camera, $260 worth of $20 checks from Pepsi, and a Microsoft Zune (making me about the only person in the universe who actually owns a Zune).

Come to think of it, about the only thing I havenít yet won from Pepsi is a car, and thatís probably just because I didnít drink QUITE enough Diet Pepsi.

But, hey, if youíre a Pepsi executive reading this right now, Iíll totally accept a car from you. Iím not picky.


Posted by Ryan at August 24, 2013 02:06 PM | TrackBack
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