Ryan: Remember when we tried to watch them in your office and pissed off the curmudgeon next door?
Caroline: Ha! Yes. What a dickbag.
Ryan: Dickbag. . . Can you imagine your surprise if you discovered a bag full of dicks? Totally without any background or context.
Caroline: Would I really want background or context? I think that'd make it more disturbing. Like, is this a bag full of dicks that occurred out of happy circumstances or tragic circumstances?
Ryan: Just BAM you step outside and there's this bag on your doorstep, which you open and find it crammed full of severed dicks.
Caroline: Dick Crammed will be a character in our book.
Ryan: You'd probably immediately think "This is probably my husband's bag of dicks."
Caroline: "I'll just put it over here until he gets home from work."
Ryan: Probably would want to put it in the deep freeze or something.
Caroline: Probably. Next to the Vagbag.
Ryan: Oh, so now there's a Vagbag?
Caroline: Why can't there be? Is there some kind of law? Equality for all!
Ryan: A bag full of vaginas would at least be somewhat useful.
Caroline: Mmkay. Let's explore that thought. Sicko. A bag full of "severed" vaginas would be "useful" to you.
Ryan: You could use the vaginas as leg and wrist warmers. Maybe even a headband, if it's a larger severed vagina.
Caroline: That vagina gives good head ...band.
Ryan: But a bag full of dicks? Totally useless.
Caroline: Nonsense!
Ryan: Explain.
Caroline: You could use one as a door stop. Paperweight. Dog/cat toy
Fill that sucker up with catnip!
Ryan: A severed dick would be a terrible door stop.
Caroline: Maybe YOURS would.
Ryan: It would just get all smushed up under the door.
Caroline: Then it's not big enough.
Ryan: Wait. Are you talking erect severed dicks here?
Caroline: Sentences like that make me smile.
Ryan: Because I was thinking about a bag of flaccid severed dicks.
Caroline: how about a bag full of talking erect severed dicks
Ryan: Well, now you're just talking crazy talk.
Caroline: It can happen!
Ryan: What would a severed dick POSSIBLY have to talk about?
Caroline: I can imagine there'd be a lot to talk about. It's troubling being a severed dick.
Ryan: Troubling being a severed dick I can agree with. But wouldn't the dick just be beside itself because it discovered it could talk?
Caroline: Oh, it knew all along.
Ryan: Wait, maybe THAT'S why it got severed.
Caroline: Now we're getting to the bottom of this.
Ryan: I hear when you get to the bottom of a severed dick, you just pop out the other side. Like a worm hole.
Caroline: Peek-a-boo penis
Ryan: Getting back to something you said earlier: why does it have to be an "severed ERECT talking penis?"
Caroline: It just does. Flaccid ones are useless.
Ryan: I can see that argument. Anyway, what would a severed erect talking penis have to say?
Ryan: "Damnit, man, throw me into that Vagbag RIGHT NOW!"
Caroline: "Ouch," for one.
Ryan: It wouldn't say "Ouch," because it would have been removed from the host's nervous system. The former host would no doubt be saying ouch though.
Caroline: You went all nerd boy there.
Ryan: Just shooting for a little biological realism here.
Caroline: I think realism went out the window when this conversation started.
Posted by Ryan at January 21, 2010 08:24 PM | TrackBackI love you guys sooo much, lol!
Posted by: Donna at January 28, 2010 03:14 PMI figured you'd like this one, Donna. It was Caroline and me at our demented best.
Posted by: Ryan at January 28, 2010 04:17 PM