June 04, 2009

Get With the Times, bin Laden

This week, the world was once again treated to yet another audio tape released by perpetual bogeyman, Osama bin Laden. As news events go, such taped releases now carry more news heft than NBA playoff updates, but less than any development surrounding Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Leaving aside the fact my personal belief is bin Laden has been a lifeless crimson stain on a cave wall for several years now, my primary problem with the latest audio release is just how outdated and unsophisticated it actually was.

You see, back in 2001, bin Laden and terrorist organizations like al Qaeda were often lauded by the press for their savvy use of media propaganda. Back then, video footage of bin Laden sitting in front of a sheet with a phallic AK-47 next to him, calling for global jihad, was considered sophisticated and media savvy; this despite the fact my friends and I made similar videos about our favorite cartoons in our parents' basements back in fifth grade.

Nowadays, "bin Laden" is limited to audio tapes, which is just kind of pathetic and woefully outdated. I mean, he could at least have the courtesty to start a blog. Blogspot and other blog hosting services are totally free, provided bin Laden is okay with infidel advertising running across the top banner. Is it really too much trouble for today's premier terror figure to post weekly updates on "Blogging Bin Laden" or "Bin Bloggin'"?

Or the guy could even just maintain a FaceBook or MySpace page. Online social networking is currently all the craze. Then again, maybe bin Laden's afraid that one girl he dated back in Jihad High will find him and start stalking him again; the CIA has nothing compared to that girl's mad stalking skills -- she'll locate him within a week.

Or Twitter! For crying out loud, Twitter is about the easiest way to stay connected online that there is, and you don't have to write more than 140 characters. Twitter would be perfect for someone who is always on the go like bin Laden, provided he's still drawing breath. Heck, I can almost imagine a typical bin Laden Twitter dispatch:

"Spent last night in a cave. Plan on spending tonight in another cave. My back is killing me. Remember everyone: Death to the West! LOL!"

The point is, audio tapes are just entirely too antiquated. At the very least, if "bin Laden" is determined to maintain the audio route (which is fine, some people aren't comfortable in front of a camera), he should at least learn how to create Podcasts. People today are on the go; if they really want to hear bin Laden's latest rant, they want the ease and convenience of downloading it to their iPod so they can listen to it on the bus on the way to work.

And don't even get me started on how he should leverage Blu-Ray.

Posted by Ryan at June 4, 2009 09:51 PM | TrackBack

On the technological scale, audio tapes rank just barely above drawings in crayon. Maybe we should start calling him Bin Laggin'?

Posted by: Erik at June 5, 2009 04:37 PM
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