March 30, 2009

Sheikh, Sheikh, Sheikh, Senora!

Based off this, the most awesome lede paragraph to grace a news item since the invention of the printing press, I'll be crafting limericks throughout the day that include the term "Anal Sheikh." And, because I'm particularly lazy today, I'm giving myself poetic license to use both pronunciations of Sheikh, including the one that rhymes with "shriek" and the one that rhymes with "steak."


A woman, whom we'll call "Anal Shiekh"
Is gifted at a certain sex technique
Men come from afar
Pay in Iraqi dinars
And none can walk right for a week.

There's a dance craze called "Anal Shiekh,"
The moves of which are quite tough to make
You put your right foot in
And that's just to begin
There's no describing how much you will ache.

Prince Abdullah is one anal sheikh
If you'll pardon my hard-edged critique
Stuff sand in his ass,
The sheikh will shit glass.
In the Arab world, this isn't unique.

Anal Sheikh, so they say in hushed tones
Goes up and down like the Dow Jones.
When she's penetrating
You'll need iron plating
Or you'll feel it deep down in your bones.

Advice commonly spewed by Anal Sheikh
Is you must simply turn the other cheek.
Don't do it, man!
She'll wreck your can!
That woman's an unconscionable sneak.

When risking it all, and there's much at stake
The last person to turn to is Anal Sheikh
She'll always screw you,
And your little dog, too.
Trusting her would be your biggest mistake.

Posted by Ryan at March 30, 2009 10:23 AM | TrackBack

"And none can walk right for a week."

You've got it pegged.

(Thank you. Try the veal)

Posted by: LearnedFoot at March 30, 2009 10:31 AM

Your gifts are being wasted writing about medical procedures. I LOLed several times.

Posted by: Erik at March 30, 2009 12:48 PM
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