Rambling Rhodes

Epiphany

You know, I see that Google ad above that asks "Are You Superbad?" and I'm forced to really think about it. And, you know what? Yes, yes I do think I'm just a bit Superbad.

I mean, I used to think I was just Mildbad; the kind of guy who would utter a catcall to a dame while twirling a Lucky Strike in my maw, lit, of course, with the naked lady lighter I filched from the local petrol station.

Then, of course, I went through my Badbad stage, during which time I kept a metal flask filled with Jack Daniels in my hip pocket at all times, from which I'd take a healthy belt after I punched some young punk in the gut for walking by me funny. I also took to rolling my own cigarettes, because nothing looks badder than a limp self-roll dribbling from your lip, indicating you're not just willing to kill yourself slowly, you'll take a more active roll in the creation of the death-stick that'll do you in 30 years hence.

Now, I do believe I've graduated to the ranks of the Superbad. I sit here in my khaki Nautica cargo pants, loaded down with an oversized wallet, a Nokia T-Mobile flip cellphone and the keys to my '96 Cadillac Eldorado. My black Perry Ellis dress shirt and Citizen Chronograph watch mark me as a man not to be taken lightly.

Yessiree, I'm a Superbad motherfucker.

Or a monumental tool.

I'm not sure which.

Posted by Ryan at May 17, 2007 09:39 AM | TrackBack