August 07, 2006

An open letter

To stupid people. All stupid people.

A meerkat is a varmint. Yes, it is a cute varmint, and it does cute varmint things. That said, it's still a varmint. If I were to be bit by a varmint, and I was given the choice between killing said varmint or undergoing a series of rabies shots. . . goodbye varmint. You were a cute varmint, but now you're a dead varmint.

And that's just me. If I had a child, and the choice was between my child undergoing possibly unnecessary rabies shots, or erradicating an entire family of varmints? Goodbye varmint family!

That is all.

Posted by Ryan at August 7, 2006 09:31 AM | TrackBack

Sure, but the family should have to pay to replace the animals.

ps- I'm fairly certain they're not actually varmints.

Posted by: Joshua at August 7, 2006 10:32 AM

I agree on the replacement fees.

Not sure on the "varmint" thing. I was mostly channeling Bill Murray from Caddyshack for comedic effect.

Posted by: Ryan at August 7, 2006 10:35 AM

Not sure why that second comment didn't register.

Posted by: Ryan at August 7, 2006 12:34 PM

Not sure why it's registering now, for that matter.

Posted by: Ryan at August 7, 2006 12:46 PM

I was right there with you until I realized the varmints in question were in the zoo. Then all I could think was that I couldn't decide whether a series of rabies shots or a free pass to the rattlesnake petting zoo would be a better way for that kid and her parents to learn their lesson. Don't pet the varmints, kids!

Posted by: flamingbanjo at August 7, 2006 01:39 PM

I think there's a sizable market niche for rattlesnake petting zoos. I must research this further.

Posted by: Ryan at August 7, 2006 02:13 PM

Do varmits play guitars?

In addition to the cost of animals, the family should be fined for violating zoo policy and jeopardizing their assets.

Posted by: seed at August 7, 2006 04:14 PM

My bad:

Posted by: seed at August 7, 2006 04:15 PM

No shit, seed, when I was doing my GIS for "meerkat," I saw that exact same image and was THIS CLOSE to posting that one instead.

Posted by: Ryan at August 7, 2006 08:57 PM

I was reading the original story and thinking "nine years old? Sticking your hand in a cage full of wild animals? Let the moron get rabies!" I've become a child care expert over the past 10 years and that is behavior I would expect from a two-year-old on a bad day, not a nine year old.

Posted by: Tim at August 8, 2006 08:56 PM

I saw the picture of the meerkat & thought it was a mongoose. What is the difference between a mongoose & a meerkat anyway? Maybe all varmints are the same to me.

Posted by: Mandy at August 9, 2006 01:51 PM

I'm strongly inclined to believe this little girl had seen "Meerkat Manor" on, I think, Animal Planet.

This is one of those shows that gives the `kats human-like qualities....sort of like how Tim Treadwell tried to have us believe grizzly bears would love you if you spoke to them in childish hippy-speak.

Too bad the little girl probably did not know that Treadwell was killed and eaten by a bear about 3 years ago.

Posted by: AlgerHiss at August 14, 2006 08:07 AM
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