Rambling Rhodes

Jedi Poetry

Not that I have enough of a readership to warrant a poetry contest, but I figure, "so what?"

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: write a Star Wars poem, in anticipation for the upcoming Episode III Revenge of the Sith. It can be in any form, including haiku, limerick or whatever other form you come up with. The winner, selected by me, based on whatever ridiculous criteria I want, will receive. . . well. . . nothing. Except for the eternal glow of knowing that I chose you as a winner, which counts for a lot. I'll start things off:

There once was a young lad named Anakin,
Who, thanks to Lucas, was almost a mannaquin
With his Jedi man meat,
He gave Padme a treat,
And out popped Leia and her whiney-assed twin.

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He kills young and old
And is the emporer's bitch
Vader's a pussy

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Oh, and if my comment filter won't let you comment, e-mail me at yossarian9 (at) hotmail (dot) com, and I'll post your unedited submission.

UPDATE: Thanks to a heads' up from David, we can also now enjoy Darth Vader's own personal blog. Some of the comments, I have to say, are a freakin' scream.

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There once was a droid named Threepio
Who whined more than The Matrix's Neo
We were often annoyed
With this protocol droid
But he's still better than Caption E/O.

Although some might think me uncouth
What I say is just a simple truth
If I ever met Lucas
I'd kick his damn tuchas
And say, "Thanks for destroying my youth!"

If you wonder what sparked my outburst
It's changes he made for the worst
His "special edition"
Had left me wishin
They didn't make Greedo shoot first.

Author: David, a.k.a. Ted Rall.

Posted by Ryan at April 26, 2005 10:47 AM