November 29, 2004

New al-Queda Tape Enters Box Office At #6

Surprise Video Trumps "Alexander," Fails To Usurp "Spongebob"

LOS ANGELES (Rhodes Media Services) -- A new videotape issued by al Queda featuring Ayman Al-Zawahri, widely believed to be Osama bin Laden's top deputy, shot to the #6 spot at the box office Monday, raking in $14 million, a single-day record.

The video, entitled "Zeroing In On Al-Zawahri," easily outsold the stumbling epic "Alexander," currently on track to be the next "Ishtar," according to some sources.

The surprising immediate success of the al-Queda video came about largely due to the media's tendency to over-report and hype every tape issued by the terrorist group, often mistaking every tape as legitimate news.

Movie critic Roger Ebert gave a positive review of "Zeroing In On Al-Zawahri," saying that the video reflects a more polished artistic style on the part of the film-makers.

"Given the sheer bulk of video and audio tapes issued by al-Queda, you have to expect that they'll eventually become more polished at their craft," said Ebert. "This film shows the continuing maturity of the artists, and their use of light and shadow, as well as the careful and precise placement of weaponry."

Ebert was less enthusiastic about the plot and acting content, saying it "was more of the same, formulaic, like a James Bond movie, only worse, and kind of monotone."

"The Spongebob Squarepants Movie" stayed ahead of the Al-Zawahri film. Reached for comment on the news, Mr. Squarepants said only "I AM SPONGEBOB, DESTROYER OF EVIL!"

Posted by Ryan at November 29, 2004 01:51 PM
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