June 07, 2004

The Day The Reagan Died

From what I can gather, and let me tell you here that the news coverage on this has been maddeningly sparse, apparently Ronald Reagan died on Saturday, or something like that.

I kid, of course. News coverage has been so omnipresent on this story, you'd think Reagan dying was somehow a catastrophic event or something, when in reality most of the world has been writing him off as dead for about the last seven years or so.

News organizations have been waiting for Reagan to die for years now, too. They've had the Reagan memorial stories on tap, all written up and laid out, tucked in some memorial drawer somewhere. They've no doubt been itching for the man to die so they can have a little bit of an easier few work days.

Some reporter probably wrote the old Reagan memorial story a couple of years ago. He was probably pretty proud of it. He couldn't wait for the Alzheimers-stricken ex-president to gasp his last so his article could finally run. Who knew he would hold on so long? No problem. Most of the article could be salvaged, with a little updating, of course.

I imagine that newsrooms across the nation erupted in cheers when the news about Reagan's death was announced. Half day work days for the next four or five days! All that work was done years ago! Now let's wait for Ford to keel over! We have oodles of articles and memorials written up about him!

I don't have much to say about Reagan, really. Hell, I was only five when he was first elected. I only had a vague understanding of what a president even was. Honestly, about the only vivid memory I have about the night he was elected was that I thought his name was Ronald Ray Gun, and I remember thinking what a super-cool, super-futuristic name that was.

Oh, and I see J. Lo is married again.

Posted by Ryan at June 7, 2004 09:54 AM

My most lasting impression of Rappin' Ron was coming home from school and seeing the shooting video a good thirty times. The final image being of James Brady face down and bleeding.

I don't know if he was a good president, I think he was a good man, everything people have said about him has something to do with his inherent niceness, he was a nice guy who made a point of paying attention to you when you spoke with him. That's becoming a lost art.

How soon before the Bush re-election campaign starts pimping Jr.'s connection to Reagan?

And who'd J.Lo marry this time? Was it Enrique? Or some dishwasher from Queens?

Posted by: Johnny Huh? at June 7, 2004 11:44 AM

Sorry, had to come back and post this, http://www.eurweb.com/articles/headlines/06072004/headlines1481806072004.cfm
Bookies are giving 3-1 on a short marriage for J.Lo and Marc Anthony.

But check out the pic of J.Lo in the article, its like she got stuck with an air hose in her butt or something!

Posted by: Johnny Huh? at June 7, 2004 11:47 AM

Let me save you some trouble, folks: J-Lo doesn't have anything in her butt in the picture Johnny's refering to. I admit it-- when he said it looked like she had something in her butt, I hopped right over there. But really, it's just a bad picture of her. She looks fat. That's all.

No J-Lo butt action. Go on about your business. Nothing to see.

Posted by: Joshua at June 7, 2004 11:54 AM

Woops, didn't mean to insinuate. I just thought she looked all puffed up.

Don't you know that you've gotta go to Kazaa or Limewire to get the J.Lo Booty Sex videos?

Posted by: Johnny Huh? at June 7, 2004 01:50 PM

technically, j-lo has a booming ass. that is, her ass has some junk-in-the-trunk, but it's more than managable.

rule of thumb:
if the added girth in the ass enhances, or fails to detract from, the overall ass encounter it is booming.
if, on the other hand, the ass doesn't exactly fit between the goal posts (put your thumbs together and form two right-angles with your thumb and pincky. extend your thumbs fully. these are the goalposts and can be used as a standard way of measuring a females ass in relation to your own body size.) and this detracts from the encounter the ass is fat.

oh yeah, if anybody wants a good reagan bio and hasn't read dutch by edmund morris, it is highly recommended.

Posted by: seed at June 8, 2004 02:43 PM

Not J-lo, but butt action galore:


Posted by: Chaz at June 10, 2004 05:27 PM

Good Point. Anyways, this was where i met her. You can join for free as well www.redtricircle.com

Posted by: click here at March 12, 2005 03:40 AM
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