April 03, 2002

I wish I could label

I wish I could label everything I don't like as "evil" just as President "W" does. Since he took office, he's been throwing down the "evil" gauntlet with such reckless abandon, I feel I should be able to do the same. Osama Bin Laden. Evil. Saddam Hussein. Evil. That irritating telemarketer that calls every night at 7 p.m. without fail. Definitely evil. Pepsi. Good. Coke. Evil. Boxers. Good. Briefs. Evil. I could really confuse waiters and waitresses by perusing menus and asking, "Yes, do you have anything that isn't 'evil.'" I'm really not going anywhere with this, but I had to vent. I haven't eaten in 48 hours, save for a 2 ounce bag of Gardettos and four Diet Pepsis. How pathetic is it when I'm just too damn lazy to eat? "Ryan sure looks sickly lately. Does he have an eating disorder?" "Nah, he just never gets around to eating." I'll eat today, I'm almost sure of it, depending on what the IBM menu is for today. Let's see. . . Cheese ravioli with cream sauce, or sliced turkey with two sides. I'm thinking cheese ravioli is the way to go. I must eat something if I'm going to run tonight. I haven't run my usual three mile trek since Saturday. Must run. Must maintain smoking hot specimen of male hunkiness body. Or something like that. Also on the agenda for tonight? I must watch the West Wing. I must write my weekly column. I must finish creating the birth announcements for my roommate's niece. It's fun to print out one copy at a time, hand each one to my roommate, and then listen to her coo about how cute her niece is. Must be a girl thing. Just re-read this and acknowledged a conspicuous lack of humor. Need food. *gasp*

Posted by Ryan at April 3, 2002 10:38 AM
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