April 04, 2002

Oh, hellish busy day! Articles

Oh, hellish busy day! Articles to the left of me, e-mails to the right! And, to top it all off, here I sit without my watch. I forgot to put my watch on after emerging from the shower this morning. That NEVER happens. This is bound to mess up my entire day, mark my words. Why? Because, I have a very precise way of keeping track of my own time. My watch is set eight minutes ahead, my car clock is 12 minutes ahead, and my alarm clock is 10 minutes ahead. Why? Just because, that's why. I have no earthly reason why I do this. It just makes sense to me. I emerge from the shower and think, "Crap, I'm eight minutes late!" Then, I start dressing in my bedroom, I glance at the alarm clock and think, "Whoa, now I'm ten minutes late!" Then I get in my car and I think, "Where does the time go!!?" I know, it makes no sense, but oh well. I read about 20 pages of Ceasar by Colleen McCollough last night. It's the most tedious reading I've ever endured. You can only read names like Trebacious, Gustavious, Milotus, Fellatio, and Cunnilingus so many times before they start to blend together and you forget who is who. I'm pretty sure I know who Ceasar is, but that's about it. I'm on page 52. Only about 650 pages left to go. I'll be able to speak Latin when I'm done, I just know it. Let's check in with news of the odd. . . "Dog Bites Gator, Saves Woman, Wins Award" Now THAT'S a dog! "Hey I just taught my dog to roll over and play dead. Does your dog know any tricks?" "Oh, he fights alligators." The only trick my my childhood dog, Ray, knew was to repeatedly pee in the direct center of my bed any time I made him mad. He would also dump a load near my parents' bed on my father's side so Dad would plant his foot squarely in it during the middle of the night. Many was the evening I heard my father washing his foot in the sink while he cursed Ray's existence.

Posted by Ryan at April 4, 2002 11:21 AM
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