May 06, 2002

Dan Akroyd is a Corporate

Dan Akroyd is a Corporate Slug
You know, it's gotten to the point that, every time I see one of those Charter Communications commercials starring Dan Akroyd, I want to put my foot through the TV. Here in the bustling, yet boring, community of Rochester, Minn., Charter has a monopoly on high-speed cable Internet access, and they wield this power with all the consumer indifference you'd expect from a company that has no competition to speak of within a 80 mile radius. I must call them, again, because my 24/7 cable access has been at an unacceptable 00/0 level for the past three days. It would be different if this was the first time, but this will be my third call in seven months. Also, my latest cable bill said that I didn't owe anything for the last month, and I simply know that's wrong. So, here's what's going to happen, according to routine of the past: I'll call and be put on hold while a recorded response will inform me that my call is important to Charter (Really? Then pick up the friggin phone!!). Finally, a rep will answer and he or she will hand me off to several other reps until I land in the hands of the guy or girl who just started their new job 15 seconds ago. They'll inform me, after about half-an-hour, that I'm apparently not getting a signal (And here I thought I was calling just to be neighborly). They offer to send someone to check out the situation, and that he'll be able to drop by the house on Wednesday between 6 a.m. and midnight, so I'll have to take time off of work to greet this guy, which means I get to lay around on the couch and watch horrible daytime television. Finally, a guy wearing far too many tools on his belt will arrive and ask me where my cable runs (probably to the TV, you friggin moron!). I show him to the point of cable entry in the basement and he starts whatever it is he does. An hour later, he tells me I'm not getting an Internet signal (so, that's why I don't have Internet access? Astounding!). He fixes whatever's wrong, and it works for about two months before going out, and we begin the process again. Lousy Dan Akroyd. He's to blame.

Posted by Ryan at May 6, 2002 10:06 AM
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