May 14, 2002

Cat-apulted From the Home >From

Cat-apulted From the Home
>From news of the odd today, we learn that a "Cat Goes on Rampage, Evicts Owners." I was left with an image of a tabby wearing glasses perched on its nose, a clipboard grasped in one paw, completing the necessary paperwork to legally evict the owners. In actuality, "A Canadian family had to flee for safety after their pet Siamese cat went on a rampage, tearing at clothes and skin and driving them out of the house, police said on Monday." I was reminded at this point of a corny horror/comedy show I saw awhile back about a family that was terrorized by a monkey that was dynamite with kitchen cutlery, dicing up any unsuspecting people that came within range of its primate rage. Seriously, how would you explain to your neighbors that you had to evacuate the house because the family cat developed an attitude?
"What's up, Fred? You doing a fire drill or something?"
"Er, no. Not exactly."
"Fumigating, then?"
"Well, John, no, not quite."
"What's with all them cuts on your back? You okay there, Fred? You look a little shaken. Is everything all right in the house?"
"For the love of God, don't go in there, John!! You'll be torn to shreds for sure. The cat!! Oh, the cat!! It's gone crazy! Save yourself!!"
"Cat? You evacuated because of a cat? *snicker*"
Okay, apparently this cat was a dynamo, because "it took police officers, armed with a blanket and a clothes hamper, 20 minutes to corner the cat. One officer said Cocoa the cat was eventually secured in a pet carrier and handed over to the family who took it to the veterinarian."
What's funny here is the specialized gear that had to be used, a blanket and clothes hamper. You know you're really in for trouble when you've been pulled over for speeding and the officer has to dig in his trunk for a blanket and a clothes hamper. At that point, you're better off making a run for it.
Although it wasn't known what caused Cocoa's frenzy, one astute officer made the observation that it was "a Siamese cat with an attitude problem." This, of course, conjures images of a bad crowd of Siamese cats that hang out behind school smoking cigarettes and roughing up other cats after class.

Michelle Trachtenberg nude. Michelle Trachtenberg. Michelle Trachtenberg. Michelle Trachtenberg.

Mila Kunis. Mila Kunis. Mila Kunis. Mila Kunis. Mila Kunis.

Posted by Ryan at May 14, 2002 02:33 PM
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