October 17, 2002

Getting Caught With Your Pants

Getting Caught With Your Pants Down, Exposing a Little Bush

So, yesterday, there we sat, an American nation tumbling headlong into a war with Iraq, with a loose cannon of a president at the controls determined to settle an old score and maybe "open the spigot" to the world's second largest oil reserves. Forget our sputtering economy, we had Iraq in our sights, a country that sort of, maybe, possibly, perhaps had some ties with al Queda, and most certainly, almost positively, virtually without a doubt, has been developing weapons of mass destruction, including biological, chemical and nuclear toys. Yes, Saddam was the world's most obvious evil, and we were just a few executive orders away from Gulf War 2: This One's For Daddy. But that was yesterday.

Enter North Korea, a country that enjoyed 15 minutes of fame earlier last year when it was named one of the co-founders of the "Axis of Evil." No, not little North Korea. They're so cute, except for the fact they were covertly working to enrich uranium for a nuclear weapons program. I don't know about you, but I could have sworn, around 4 p.m. yesterday, I heard a muffled scream being carried on the wind from the direction of Washington D.C. It sounded like a familiar Texas drawl yelling "Wall Holy Sheeee-yat!!" Didn't see this one coming, did ya Mr. Bush? Now whatcha gonna do? Huh? Huh? Well, let's examine the facts.

Iraq may be trying to develop nuclear weapons, although we have no firsthand proof. North Korea, on the other hand, is trying to develop nuclear weapons, and they even said so, in a political admission requiring testicles the size of soccer balls or a brain the size of a peanut. Gotta give Kim Jong Il credit for upstaging Saddam. "Oh yeah, Mr. Scourge of the Middle East, look what we can do!"

Seriously, in a world where national pride is measured in technological achievements, how do you keep struggling nations from working to develop the Bomb? It's like the #1 requirement on the national acceptance sheet. "Let's see, we can't feed our people, and our military is pretty much a hodgepodge of pitchfork-weilding farmers, but hey, we have the Bomb, so we have some level of respectability."

Sometimes I wonder if we wouldn't be better off if every country had nukes. Mutually assured destruction for everyone! Let's see who exercises the most restraint.

Posted by Ryan at October 17, 2002 10:50 AM
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