November 26, 2002

The Month Before Christmas Tis

The Month Before Christmas

Tis the month before Christmas, and I've just begun shopping.

And there's no telling how much damn money I'm dropping.

The credit cards will be smoking and charged to the max

Once I've completed my assault upon the store racks.

The clerks are all nestled, all snug in their stores,

With hopes of commissions and Christmas price wars.

With my girlfriend on a mission, and me close in tow,

There's no telling just how much money we'll blow.

When out in front of the mall there arose such a clatter,

As boy scouts ring bells so you put cash in their platter.

Away to Radio Shack, I flew like a flash,

To look at flat screen TVs that cost a whole lot of cash.

There are many decorations and lots of fake snow,

Giving the appearance that Christmas is all about show.

The stores are all decked out, and they look pretty slick,

But the commercialization of Christmas is really quite sick

Yet the shoppers don't notice, because that's not why they came,

They came to do shopping, at all the stores they can name.

"Now Woolworths! now, Macy's! now, Sears Roebuck! now Penny's!

On, Cabella's! on Dayton's, whoops, I mean Marshall Fields!

To the storefronts we go! To the bargain back wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

Scuff marks bedeck the floor as the crowds pass on by,

Janitors just can't keep up, no matter how hard they try.

So up to the storefronts, the shoppers all flew

To buy lots of gifts, and perhaps something for them, too.

*shit, I'll do more of this later. I'm running low on marginally witty rhymes*

Posted by Ryan at November 26, 2002 03:46 PM
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