Ballroom Blix
I guess the original group who sang Ballroom Blitz was Sweet-any, or Sweet, or something forgettable like that. What was unforgettable was watching Tia Carrere in Wayne's World shrieking away the lyrics of the song while wearing red lingerie. Anyway, while winging my way to Hawaii last week, I was toggling between Time Magazine, which featured a picture of UN Weapons inspector Hans Blix, and a Playboy featuring nude pictures of Tia Carrere. Well, one thing led to another, and my brain gave birth to this little bit of satire. Enjoy.
Are you ready, "W"? Aha.
Rumsfeld? Yeah! Franks? OK.
Alright, fellas, let's go!
Oh it's been getting so hard
Livin' with the things Saddam does to me, aha
Oh the reports are getting so strange
I'd like to know everything Saddam sees
Saddam lives in Iraq
And we'd love to attack, and kill every one of his sons
But there's a UN girl in the corner, and we'd like to ignore her
'Cause she always wants to spoil our fun
Oh, yeah, it was like lightning, terrorism is frightening
But the UN needs soothing. Why can't they all just start boozing?
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
So we'll send a man to Iraq
Before we attack, a Swedish man named Hans Blix
And the UN girl in the corner said
Saddam we wanna warn ya, we're sending over Hans Blix
Ha-ans Blix, Ha-ans Blix, Ha-ans Blix, Ha-ans Blix
He's looking around for weapons
Searching around is all he's allowed to do
Looking over Saddam's shoulder
Just hunting for a single nuke or two, aha
Now Saddam in Iraq
Doesn't seem ready to crack as he shoots a rifle randomly in the sky
And the UN girl in the corner, well no one needs to warn her
That the U.S. could kill Saddam in the blink of an eye
Oh yeah, it was electric, so frightfully hectic
And cruise missiles started leaving, and Saddam ceased his breathing
Oh yeah, it was like lightning, and the air raids were frightening
And the Iraqis were losing, and they all started boozing
Blix, Blix, Ha-ans Blix, Blix, Blix, Ha-ans Blix
Blix, Blix, Ha-ans Blix, Blix, Blix, Ha-ans Blix
Stumble It!
