February 10, 2003

World Shocked As Belgium Blocks

World Shocked As Belgium Blocks NATO Defense of Turkey
Leaders From Around the Globe Ask: Where's Belgium? What's Belgium? Is That a Country?

Brussels, Belgium (Rhodes Media Services) -- Member countries of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) were shocked to learn that France, Germany and Belgium blocked a U.S. request to draft a plan to defend Turkey in the event of war in Iraq, sending diplomats scurrying to find maps and encyclopedia information about Belgium.

"I can understand Germany and France being sniveling cowards," said U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. "They've been nothing but pansy milquetoasts when it comes to Iraq. But Belgium? Who the hell is Belgium? I have a hard time believing there's a country called Belgium. Still, I'll read up on this to find out more. I can't understand why anyone would want to be associated with France and Germany, but if there is such an additional country, it could only be named something stupid like Belgium."

Belgium, it turns out, is indeed a country, albeit a small one tucked between France and Germany. When reporters asked him if the country's convenient geography was a neat coincidence, Belgian Foreign Minister Louis Michel responded that Belgium had always been there, but it has just gone unnoticed.

"Seriously, Belgium is a country, and it has been a country for a very long time," said Michel to a throng of disbelieving reporters. "No, we were not recently carved from France and Germany so there can be an additional voice to back up their politcal push for appeasement of Saddam Hussein. Really, a major reason we sided with their view was so we could get some recognition on the world theater. Sure, it's embarrasing to be another wuss country, but we had to let the world know that Belgium does exist."

Following an emergency NATO meeting convened to deal with the tripartite block of a measure intended to draft a defense initiative to protect Turkey in the event of was in Iraq, reporters and world leaders alike delighted in using the word "Belgium" in conversation with one another. They all agreed that Belgium, though a wuss politically, was very fun to say.

"Belgium," said Nicolas Burns, U.S. ambassador to NATO. "Belgium, Belgium, Belgium. It's kind of like belch, only different. I guess that's appropriate."

Posted by Ryan at February 10, 2003 02:16 PM
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