You know, after a huge Thanksgiving meal, I like to recline on a La-Z-Boy and pop the top off an nice, smooth turkey gravy flavored soda pop. I then like to barf forcefully into a five gallon pail I keep on hand after gagging on turkey gravy flavored soda pop.
After choking on turkey gravy flavored soda pop, I then like to start decorating the Christmas tree. But, not just any Christmas tree: a skunk scented Christmas tree! I'm sick and tired of the traditional smell of pine wafting through the house. This year, I want to take in snootfuls of concentrated skunk pheremones. Oh, Christmas tree, Oh, Christmas tree, your odor is disgusting.
Finally, I like to unwind by buying any of the Top Ten Worst Toys for all the brats in the neighborhood. You know, having just read that list, I think it would be fun to come up with some fictional toys that would be bad Christmas sellers. Let's try, shall we?
-- Scathing Herpes Barbie (now featuring more pustules)
-- Don't Ask, Don't Tell G.I. Joe
-- The Cat In The Hat. . . In Heat
-- Professor Jake's Fun Box Full 'O Sharp Pointy Things That Are Easily Swallowed
-- Big Daddy G's Pimp Action Figure (now with ho slappin' backhand)
-- Bathtub Meth Starter Kit
Okay, folks, your turn.
Nud. Nud Nud Nud Nud Nud Nud Nud Nud Nud Nud Nud Nud Nud Nud Nud. Nud. Nud. Nud. Nud. Nud.
Posted by Ryan at November 25, 2003 11:41 AM
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