November 24, 2003

The Weekend That Consisted Of 30 Hours Of Sleep

Well, Melissa is winding down her semester, which means a lot of homework and a lot of studying, and a lot of me not seeing her because having me staying with her would mean a lot of sexual distraction, so I stayed in Rochester all weekend.

Melissa is finally to the point where she understands we don't have to see each other during every free moment of our lives. Last year, during the early stages of our relationship, she would constantly drive down to Rochester, which was fine, but it threw my weekly routine all out of whack. Now, we basically just try to hook up as best we can on the weekends, and that has worked out wonderfully. Sure, we miss each other from time to time, but we also understand that we're trying to achieve certain goals in our respective lives. She wants to graduate college in two years and be an interior designer, while I want to build up enough job experience to eventually be able to transition to a writing capacity that is more entertaining than high technology. Some day, our goals will mesh, but until then, we have what we have, and we're surprisingly happy.

That, and we call each other whenever Most Extreme Elimination Challenge comes on and we laugh ourselves senseless. Seriously, that show is the shit.

Right you are, Ken.


So, I had an entire weekend all to myself, which hasn't happened in, like, forever. I took advantage of the situation by catching up on basically a year of sleep. Friday night, I went to bed at 11 p.m., and I awoke at 2 p.m. Saturday. Saturday, likewise, I went to bed at 11 p.m., and awoke at 2 p.m. Sunday. That's 30 hours of sleep over two days. I think I'm going into hibernation or something. Whatever the case, it was a luxurious weekend of slumber.

And I had some pretty trippy dreams, too. I think that, since I was determined to sleep so much, my mind made up for the down time by seeing how creative it could get. In one sequence, I found myself putting on a flight uniform as a pilot for the Rebel Alliance. Luke Skywalker even helped zip me up! Then, I found myself in the cockpit of an X-Wing, where I realized, to my horror, that I had no idea how to pilot such a craft. I was sooooo going to crash into the Death Star! Noooooo. . . cut to next dream. In that dream, everyone was Kung-Fu fighting. I can't remember if there was a segue into this dream or not, but there I was, sitting in Buffalo Wild Wings, playing trivia and drinking a beer, when suddenly a brawl broke out, with me in the middle. And, I have to say, I was really holding my own, without spilling my beer or anything, when suddenly I found myself riding in a car going down the highway, except I was in the backseat, and there was NO DRIVER. I actually have that kind of dream an awful lot. I wonder what Freud would say.

When I wasn't sleeping, or totally vegging out in front of the television on Sunday during a marathon of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, I did actually try to accomplish things. For example, I went out and purchased a birthday gift for Melissa. It was HUGE, and kind of spendy, and I almost bought one for myself, but the store only had one in stock, which was probably a good thing, because there was no way I could have transported two of them in my car. I then went to Best Buy, where I bought ink cartridges which are, I believe, the one remaining commodity in the computer world that insists on costing way damn more than they should. Come on, it's INK for crying out loud. It shouldn't require the taking out of a loan.

Back in college, I did some experimenting (no, not THAT way) with ink cartridges. I tried one of those frip-frapping ink refilling kits. I tried using that kit a grand total of three times, and each time I succeeded in spritzing ink everywhere BUT into the damn cartridge. My hands looked like those of a coal miner, and so did my shirt, and pants, and face, and socks, and genitals. Okay, not the genitals. But, the lesson was learned: ink cartridge refilling kits are simply NOT worth the effort or the money saved. Oh, and plus, in the event of a successful refill, it would take about fifty sheets of paper before the cartridge actually printed out anything other than a bunch of ink driplets. Page after page of what appeared to be braille. Never. Again.

I also finally weakened and bought Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy. It was only a matter of time. I've beaten every Jedi Knight PC game going all the way back to the version that required booting from a DOS prompt. This line of games just refuses to disappoint. I spent several hours Saturday night entranced in front of my computer. The game taps into that portion of my mind that always wanted to BE IN the Star Wars movies, that little tyke who thought it would be awesome to actually have a light saber, and ride a Ton-Ton, and use the Force to move shit around. Well, now I CAN, albeit through the medium of a computer. Suffice it to say, this game will be my little nightly addiction for some time to come.

Winter is now officially here in Minnesota. I know this because my car doors were frozen shut Sunday night, and I also had to pour hot water on my lock. I also know this because I went for a five mile run Sunday night and the return route into the wind almost froze my nose off and made my teeth hurt. We didn't get much in the way of snow down here in Rochester, a slight dusting basically, but freezing rain Saturday night more than made up for that. I hate scraping my windshield, and on Saturday night, there was enough ice on my car to glaciate most of the Sahara, so I simply opted to turn on my car and allow the defrost to work its magic. I took the house key off the ring and went back in to warm myself indoors. However, I accidently left my house key in the house, even though I DID remember to lock the door. Poop.

There's something deeply humiliating about locking yourself out of your own house. It's like you don't even trust yourself. Nope, you're not worthy to come back in, sorry. Thankfully, I still had my car running, so I just opted to drive around running errands until my roommate got home.

I hate winter. But I love Kelly Monaco. I wish there was a nude Kelly Monaco. Kelly Monaco naked would be great. Mmmmm, Kelly Monaco.

Posted by Ryan at November 24, 2003 12:37 PM
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