June 10, 2003

Well, No fucking Shit Here's

Well, No fucking Shit

Here's a little piece of information I'm sure all of you probably already know, but the U.S. government decided was worth dedicating money to uncovering anyway.

UNITED NATIONS — There is a "high probability" that Al Qaeda will attempt an attack with a weapon of mass destruction in the next two years, the U.S. government said in a report Monday.

First off. . . well, duhhhhh. If there's one thing all of America knows, it's that the batshit crazy al Qaeda organization is willing to try anything. I could hear the most outlandish claim ever uttered in the history of the world and not believe it for a second. But, as soon as I hear that Al Queda is somehow involved, I'll think, "Yeah, well, those fuckers would try anything."

UNIDENTIFIED INFORMANT: Did you know that Al Qaeda has plans to alter the gravitational constant of the universe in an attempt to pull the moon into a collision course with New York City.

ME: Yeah, well, those fuckers would try anything.

The report said the terrorist organization "will continue its efforts to acquire and develop biological, chemical, radiological, and nuclear (CBRN) weapons."

Yeah, well, those fuckers would try anything.

But, the point is that the Bush administration simply can't continue going to the Al Qaeda well any time it seems media emphasis may be shifting elsewhere, such as the highest unemployment rate in nine years. But that's exactly what they do, in my opinion. Granted, the Democrats, had Al Gore been in office, would be doing the same damned thing. For better or for worse, 9/11 provided the most powerful and ubiquitous political tool in modern history. So, I don't begrudge the Bush administration for using 9/11 for political gain.

Still, at this point, I'm pretty much resigned to living in the post-9/11 world fully expecting another terrorist attack to take place here at some point. Common sense just tells me that, if you manage to get a bunch of like-minded crazies together, eventually they're going to find some way to raise a little hell. And they don't get any crazier than militant Islamic fundamentalists. Take a crowd of angry poor people, give them somebody to blame to focus their rage, promise them riches and virgins in the afterlife and favor with their god, and suddenly you have a bunch of walking human bombs. As sad as it is to say, this is the reality to which I'm resigned. So, I don't need crap like this coming at me:

U.S. Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said last year that searches of more than 40 sites in Afghanistan used by Al Qaeda yielded documents, diagrams and material that showed "an appetite for weapons of mass destruction." But it did not appear Al Qaeda had succeeded in making such weapons before the U.S.-led military campaign began in October 2001.

Who knew Rumsfeld was a Metallica fan?

UPDATE: And speaking of music, Strong Bad went and wrote a kick-ass song about Sibbie. Where's that beat coming from?

UPDATE: Oh, and Layne is back. Er, well, sort of. Congratulations Cassie, and welcome to the world David.

Posted by Ryan at June 10, 2003 10:34 AM
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