Rambling Rhodes: Schizophrenic Screed For Feb. 3, 2004

February 04, 2004

Schizophrenic Screed For Feb. 3, 2004

I've been slacking when it comes to my duty to bring you, my valued readers, the weekly installments of the Schizophrenic Screed. Honestly, though, the weirdo who writes these things for the Stewartville Star has been really incoherent and long winded lately, and that's saying something. To give you an idea, here's his latest:

Macheye CREST - TEEN - Y of degrees of latitude of angle of eccentricity, of left. As the final signals come in, they are read as follows: Tr - Tic - A - OC - Ent - SAC. Left-angle-spiral. 1-Pan-cheas. 2-Biliary-duct. 3-Bile-carrying. 4-Bilious. 5-Penumbra. 6-Umbra. 7-Umber. 8-Umbilical. 9-Umbilicus. 10-umbrassiere-spiral. Of-right angle. New can you see. 11-Angle of eccentricity. Now we have a total democracy. Now you can put a line through Republicans, Democrats, and Imperialism of everything. Now if you want to know the element of the brain stem, get educated. Now to help you out on education for that new biology test in the year 2006. So we'll start with what is called CA-e-Pyramid Cell. The following words are cross references within the A-now you can do your cross referencing. A: 1-Ap-O-gee. 2- AS-y-mp-tote. 3- At. 4-A-moe-ba. 5- A-moe-bio. 6- A-moe-boid. 7-Am-nion sac. 8-A-phelion lion. Now we can get down to business. As we decipher the VA3 Pyramid Cell out piece by piece we now go to a new formula known as C-A-K-E-3 Pyramid Sunflower Spiral Cell. The breakdown is in sunflower. Sunflower as in medical book. Sunflower as in medical book. Sunflower as in sunflower seed like a cup of coffee of caffeine like a can of pop of caffeine, like boiling a pot of coffee.

Gary XXXXXXXX
XXX-6989

Jeez, my fingers actually hurt after having transcribed that insanity. The guy is clearly slipping further and further into what the scientific community refers to as "nutballism." The thing is, nobody in Stewartville or the surrounding community has the guts to tell him to get back on his medications and stop spewing this bizarre nonsense. Why? Because he's creepier than a vine. I mean, think about it: a mangled-looking human being, with a huge scar across his face, stands in front of you and spouts the spooky shit italicized above. What would you do? Right. You'd do what I used to do: stand there and nod and pray the encounter would just end.

And now for some shameless traffic whoring by repeating the names Kristin Bell and Veronica Mars:

Posted by Ryan at February 4, 2004 06:19 PM

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