November 09, 2004

Catshit Morning

There's a Chinese proverb that states: Day that starts with catshit on floor, won't be good day.

So, there I was, sleepily brushing my teeth, when what do I spy dribbled over the edge of the litter box, but a big old pile of cat shit. Apparently, one of the kitties has less-than-stellar aim. Okay, fine, whatever. I grab a heap of toilet paper and go to deal with the problem.

The problem with the problem, however, was that it was one of those squishy, non-hard, nearly-soupy concoctions that just squirted out both sides of my toilet paper clench.

It was at that point that I learned something very surprising about myself. . .

I've been hunting, and I've skinned and gutted squirrels and rabbits and the like. I've laughed at the sight of dead deer on the side of the road. I've stepped in cow pies as big as a bear's head. I've cleaned dog crap off my shoe using nothing more than a paper clip.

But, this morning, when catshit went spurting out of my toilet paper grasp, I let out a forceful dry heave, followed by two more dry heaves in quick succession. Maybe it was just that I wasn't ready for such a chore so early in the morning. Maybe I'm just unaccustomed to dealing with such fluid cat waste. Whatever the reason, I was completely grossed out by the task at hand. If a young boy had been passing by on the street at that moment, I very likely would have offered him $5 to finish cleaning up that catshit.

I'm buying a taller litter box, that's all I know. Something that can ensure a cat's butt won't launch a hot pile onto the floor. Because, man, I just can't endure such a disgusting trauma that early in the morning ever again. It's unhealthy.

Posted by Ryan at November 9, 2004 09:34 AM

Ryan, if it helps at all, I start most of my days by taking the hound for a walk down in the slough. I usually have to scoop up her dookie with only the thinnest of plastic bags to protect me. And man, her shit STINKS these days!

And then finishing the walk with a bag full of poop in one hand is always just great fun. I imagine throwing it at some of the jerks on the path.

Posted by: Johnny Huh? at November 9, 2004 12:51 PM

Don't worry, catblogger - their poo gets more solid as they get older so it's less traumatic to deal with 'accidents'. Also, you can get litter boxes with walls and a door-hole that clip on/off - not only does it cut down on 'friendly fire', but it also contains the odour somewhat.

Posted by: Simon at November 9, 2004 06:51 PM

And Johnnie, at least it keeps your hands warm on those cold winter days.

Posted by: Simon at November 10, 2004 08:44 AM

there is a bright side to the chinese proverb:

when i wake up to catshit on the floor in the morning, the good sign is that it means i don't have to worry about stepping in it when i get home later and it's dark in the house, because she only goes once a day.

word of adivce: get the hut-style catbox with a lid. it also prevents them from pissing all over the wall.

Posted by: leblanc at November 10, 2004 07:34 PM

My roommate's dog used to shit all over my floor. Don't know what it was but she LOVED to do it in my room, and no where else... say... outdoors.

Thankfully, for me, I killed and ate her dog for dinner.

Haha, just kidding. I wish.

Posted by: Tammy at November 11, 2004 02:52 AM
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