Rambling Rhodes

HA!!!!!!!!!

GO HERE. NOW. I MEAN IT!

Because Nick Coleman Still Has Shit For Brains

It's always nice to see someone else pointing out what a dour poopy pants Nick Coleman is and always will be.

Nick Coleman: reason number. . . well, probably in the top ten at least, why the Star-Tribune is imploding in around itself.

Random Friday Thought and Link

I just received a spam e-mail from "General Zyrtec." I THINK they meant "Generic Zyrtec." I think General Zyrtec is much cooler though. General Zyrtec bravely leads the armies of Nod into battle to do Kane's bidding.

Wow, apologies for that mega-geek out.

Here's a most hilarious Onion article, found via David Grenier and his original blog to ignore.

What I Learned During My First Week In the New Job

I can tell you all sorts of fascinating things about "benign adrenal tumors," if you were so inclined to ask. Also, I've learning about "Cushing's disease," and I'm now familiarizing myself with the world of "adrenalectomies."

Is it more interesting than information technology (IT) writing? I'm not sure yet.

Pays more though.

I are Serious Guy; This is Serious Post

The thing about starting a new job is, everything just becomes too darned serious. It's hard to think up silly things to write about when I'm perpetually inundated with all sorts of new and serious job responsibilities and meeting all sorts of new and serious people.

I'm exaggerating, of course; not everyone is all serious and all business, but when everything is basically brand new and unknown, I tend to slap a label of seriousness on it all whether it's warranted or not, which is totally out of character for me. I mean, here I am in a job where I'm likely to get to write about colons and rectums and anuses and all sorts of other medical terminology that typically can get me giggling in unfetterred glee. I should be in potty talk heaven!

As an aside, I think "Potty Talk Heaven" could very well be the most awesome imaginary locale ever conceived by any one man. There should at least be a movie made titled "Potty Talk Heaven," probably starring Steve Martin.

But, alas, no, for right now, it's all super serious; I have to put the rectums on hold, so to speak, for the time being. Any passing reference to irritable bowel syndrome will have to go un-laughed at until such time that I'm comfortable in my new professional position.

I think part of the problem right now is the new dress code I have to adhere to. There's something about wearing khaki pants, a dress shirt and tie that makes me feel as though I should just be serious by default; it's been my experience that a dress shirt and tie is usually reserved for serious events, like graduations, job interviews or funerals (all in the same day!), so maybe I'm inhibited by personal experience to think only serious thoughts whilst dressed in semi-formal attire.

Then again, maybe it's the new ID badge that has me all serious. I usually despise having to wear name tags or badges--they're conformist tools of the MAN, man--but I actually look pretty good in my new badge picture, by which I mean I still look like a serial killer, but my smile indicates I'm a serial killer with a heart in the right place (tacked up above my bed!).

Or, maybe it's my cubicle office space that has me in such a serious state of mind. They should be funny things, cubicles, because they look like workers just abandoned wall construction halfway through the job, but they have this serious effect on me, an effect that says "you should maybe stop scratching yourself like that; a tall person might see you."

Whatever the reason, I'm all about being serious right now, so I apologize for the lack of my usual whimsical observations. I'm sure they'll all come back to me in time.

Maybe if I spend a couple days in "Potty Talk Heaven". . .

And In This Corner, It's a Dying Newspaper

One of the primary reasons readers are abandoning many newspapers in droves, I believe, is because, while newspaper reporters and editorial writers are generally decent writers (Nick Coleman being a notable exception), they're woefully uninformed or just plain lazy about researching many, if not most, of the topics they tend to complain and blather about.

Take this "editorial" about Ultimate Fighting, for example:

The old line about going to a boxing match and a hockey game breaking out got a new twist Saturday night. Primetime viewers could turn to NBC to watch Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals between the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Detroit Red Wings, or flip to CBS for mixed martial arts, the hot fighting sport that has fought its way from obscurity and condemnation to primetime prominence.

Condemnation by who, again? Oh, right, uninformed, lazy people who see two men agreeing to fight in a cage, and who subsequently pen pants peeing opinion and editorial pieces bemoaning society's descent into gladiatorial bloodbaths. You can almost sense a whiff of this editorial writer's disbelief that ultimate fighting has managed to climb to prominence despite the best efforts of the benighted souls hired to condemn that which they clearly have made no attempt to actually understand.

It's telling that most of momentum driving ultimate fighting and similar fighting venue has come about due to wildly popular online sites and forums like Sherdog.com, MMAJunkie.com and many, many more. These are knowledgeable areas where people gather to meticulously discuss all sorts of areas of Ultimate Fighting and mixed martial arts. These sites and forums all sprang up as an alternative to the mainstream media, which has largely written off the sport as base barbarism. In other words, media disdain and cluelessness resulted in dozens, if not hundreds of online alternatives, with thousands and thousands of readers eschewing nattering couch fainting alarmism in favor of informed, rational discussion.

Nationally, viewers preferred watching the MMA's cage matches over hockey. Locally, however, the state of hockey upheld its heritage, and the Stanley Cup Finals won the ratings race.

Give it time. . . that will change.

Those concerned over violence in sports, let alone in society, will shudder to think that the National Hockey League is now the safer, more regulated option.

Bullshit! Ultimate fighting and MMA events are becoming more and more regulated, often by state althletic and boxing commissions. If anything, it's MORE regulated than hockey.

Of course, sports evolves along with the rest of society, as what was once back alley is now Main Street: Rapper Snoop Dogg, once acquitted of murder charges, does a Chrysler commercial with Lee Iacocca. In sports, the bad-boy image of snowboarding is forgotten as "our boys and girls" win Olympic medals.

I have no idea what point that paragraph was trying to convey.

The ratings results have to thrill CBS, which avoids the spiraling fees networks negotiate for the right to telecast most sports. Conversely, it has to concern NBC, which two months from now will broadcast the summer Olympic games from Beijing. After all, how does a network market fencing when an audience's tastes run more toward knife fights?

Oh, for the love of Jeebus. Really? Knife fights? That's the hyperbole they ran with? I take it back; editorial writers aren't, for the most part, decent writers. . . they're white-knuckled, societal chicken littles penning pointless twaddle.

Oh, hey. . . MSN TOO!

Ryan says: My badge photo is quite dashing, if I do say so myself.

Caroline says: Of course

Ryan says: Not as "West Virginia Kid Toucher" as my IBM photo.

Caroline says: Oh, totally. Is it more "Kentucky Kid Toucher" now? More sophisticated?

Ryan says: Ya'll ain't kiddin'.

So far, so good

Well, my transition from IBM employee to Mayo Clinic employee is going fairly well. I just completed a two day orientation program that, though admittedly eye-rolling at times, was a pretty good introduction to Mayo.

I found out today I won't be working at any downtown facilities, so all my parking concerns dissipated once it was revealed I'd be working at a remote facility that's located maybe about a half mile away from the IBM buildings where I used to work. It was a most pleasant surprise.

Obviously, blogging continues to play a secondary role. I'm absorbing a lot of information daily, and to say I don't have anything in the way of a "routine" yet would be a severe understatement.

Going Batty

A good friend and former college roommate of mine asked me to dress up as Batman for his son's third birthday yesterday. His son was a little intimidated, but I think it was a pretty good costume for $50.