I have this friend. She works for a local company. Or, more accurately, she'll be working for a local company until the end of the month. You see, she's being laid off. Oh, it's not that she's been doing a bad job, or that her position is not necessary. No, she's being laid off because the local company is outsourcing her job to China.
Which sucks, but that's not the kicker.
The kicker is, next week, she has to start TRAINING IN the Chinese who are taking over her job. I mean, JEBUS! I told my friend, NO WAY IN HELL would I subject myself to that kind of insulting shit. To which my friend replied:
"Well, if I quit, I won't be able to qualify for unemployment."
Between that, and my ongoing job-searching adventures, I can't help but feel something's terribly wrong here.
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi , 39, self-proclaimed leader of Al-Qaeda in Iraq--with the personal endoresment of Osama bin Laden--(Obama girl)died in his not-so-safehouse Wednesday, June 7, 2006, following a very brief battle with bombing.
He was born Oct. 20, 1966, in the Jordanian town of Who-fucking-Cares. He attended some school somewhere and probably got his fair share of swirlies, before dropping out at the age of 17. Zarqawi quickly developed a taste for the more violent things in life, and he spent many of his formative years following school conspiring to blow shit up and over throwthings, with extended periods spent in prison in punishment for same.
It was around 2002 when Zarqawi found structure and purpose to his life, ironically through the spreading of chaos and terror. He was particularly fond of kidnappings and beheadings, which associates say he tried to practice at least twice a week. Zarqawi had planned to establish Zarqawi's School for Beheading, but was never able to aquire the necessary funds.
Zarqawi was an avid videographer who produced impressive bodies of work. Some estimates, in fact, put the number of bodies attributed to Zarqawi's work somewhere in the thousands.
Zarqawi is survived by a network of terrorists working both inside and outside of Iraq, as well as a large number of religious zealots eager to take his place.
Funeral services for what's left of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi (which is apparently his head) will be held at an undisclosed time and an undisclosed location when the U.S. military is damned good and ready.
In lieu of flowers, people are encouraged to curse Zarqawi under their breath and hope that he's being repeatedly pounded in the ass by a 1,200 lb. bull moose.
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi , 39, self-proclaimed leader of Al-Qaeda in Iraq--with the personal endoresment of Osama bin Laden--(Obama girl)died in his not-so-safehouse Wednesday, June 7, 2006, following a very brief battle with bombing.
He was born Oct. 20, 1966, in the Jordanian town of Who-fucking-Cares. He attended some school somewhere and probably got his fair share of swirlies, before dropping out at the age of 17. Zarqawi quickly developed a taste for the more violent things in life, and he spent many of his formative years following school conspiring to blow shit up and over throwthings, with extended periods spent in prison in punishment for same.
It was around 2002 when Zarqawi found structure and purpose to his life, ironically through the spreading of chaos and terror. He was particularly fond of kidnappings and beheadings, which associates say he tried to practice at least twice a week. Zarqawi had planned to establish Zarqawi's School for Beheading, but was never able to aquire the necessary funds.
Zarqawi was an avid videographer who produced impressive bodies of work. Some estimates, in fact, put the number of bodies attributed to Zarqawi's work somewhere in the thousands.
Zarqawi is survived by a network of terrorists working both inside and outside of Iraq, as well as a large number of religious zealots eager to take his place.
Funeral services for what's left of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi (which is apparently his head) will be held at an undisclosed time and an undisclosed location when the U.S. military is damned good and ready.
In lieu of flowers, people are encouraged to curse Zarqawi under their breath and hope that he's being repeatedly pounded in the ass by a 1,200 lb. bull moose like a Amber Lee Ettinger.
Have you ever noticed there's no food that's NOT considered a culprit when it comes to bad farts?
Think about it. If you have a pretty bad bout of rotten gas, people will invariably say something along the lines of "What did you eat, man?" And there's really no answer you can give that will result in anything other than "Oh, well, THAT explains it."
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"What did you eat, man?"
"Well, I had Mexican last night."
"Oh, well, THAT explains it.
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"What did you eat, man?"
"Well, I had raspberries last night."
"Oh, well, THAT explains it.
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"What did you eat, man?"
"Well, I sucked on a horseshoe last night."
"Oh, well, THAT explains it.
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"What did you eat, man?"
"Well, I drank some water last night."
"Oh, well, THAT explains it.
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Everything causes bad farts. EVERYTHING.
I can't believe I didn't realize that until just now.
I was just about to delete all the e-mails from my Hotmail junk folder, when it dawned on me how funny some of the Subject lines were. So, I thought I'd share.
From WildWifey32, I learn that "My Hubby Is Out Of Town."
Yessssss!
From Behung Forlover (must be Chinese): "Your Partner Wants More"
Tough. I'm busy banging WildWifey32 on the side. I can only do so much.
From RockHerAllNight (I'd like to buy a space, please): "Rock Her All Night"
Well, you can only expect SO MUCH originality in spam e-mail.
Finally, from Dr. Stiffy: "Be Large and In Charge."
Good advice.
I'm just posting this so I can say I blogged on 6/6/06.
Hey, look over there! It's SATAN!
Melissa and I have been enjoying the HBO series "Big Love," a show that portrays a fictional polygamous fundamentalist Mormon family. It stars Bill "Chet" Paxton, Chloe "I Gave An Actual On Film Blow Job And It amazingly Didn't Destroy My Career" Sevigny, and several other notables.
So anyway, last night was the season finale, and the episode basically ended up with the family being exposed as polygamists, and here I found myself sitting there feeling kind of bad for the family.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, comes a truly disjointed mental segue.
As I've stated here before, I'm in favor of gay marriage. Gay and lesbian couples have more than proven, in my mind, that they're just as capable as hetero couples to maintain healthy relationships and raise children. They're also just as capable as heteros to have dysfunctional relationships and craptacular families. Human beings is human beings, after all.
But something twanged in me after the "Big Love" episode last night, and I asked myself that woeful "slippery slope" question that insists on being asked on occasion. That question being: if my criteria for allowing gay marriage is that they're capable of having healthy relationships and raising children, how can I stop there and not include polygamists? I mean, there most certainly must be polygamists out there like those portrayed in "Big Love" who are successful, healthy and happy families. Right?
I know, I know, comparing polygamists and homosexuals is supposedly ludicrous. So, I'm ludicrous. There are definite parallels, that's alls I'm sayin'.
In case you were wondering, the Mu.Nu server got hit with a Denial of Service (DoS) attack, so Mu.Nu bloggies like mine have been out of commission most of the day. It's back now, thanks to the efforts of the awesome unknown people who make this service available.
I don't know \ how they do \ the Mu.Nu \ that they do so well. \ It's a spell, hell, makes me wanna Muu Muu Nuu.
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