Rambling Rhodes

Demon Kitties

I'm Not An Addict

I can quit at any time.

It's The Music That Gets Me

For all the depressed Democrats out there.

Inspired Smartassism

Caroline says: Hey, what do you have to dial to make an international call?

Ryan says: A phone.

Caroline says: 9011?

Ryan says: That should do it, yes.

Caroline says: Thanks, you're ever so helpful.

Ryan says: Don't forget the phone. That's important.

Caroline says: The phone. Is that the thing I have on my foot? I always get phone and shoe confused.

Ryan says: Somehow, I don't have that much trouble believing that about you.

Yuck

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Hardees' new Monster Thickburger, a 1,400 calorie gut bomb with 107 grams of fat. Holy gross.

I'm Laughing Because I'm So Very Sorry

Via leblanc, I was introduced to this whining little bit of nonsense, a forum in which people can say they're sorry to the world because Bush was re-elected. Yep, nothing like pointless bawling in the wake of an election.

I didn't think much of the site at first, dismissing it for what it was: a bunch of whining nonsense. And I don't have time for whining nonsense, unless it's coming from me.

Well, I happened by Treacher's site, and I almost fell out of my chair from laughter, as he zinged the "we're sorry" crowd again and again again. I had so much fun, I had to try my hand at it.

You know when you have Alfalfa on your side, you have a powerful ally. And I'm sure you all recognize the cartoon on his shirt: Whimpy. How appropo.

First, there was Bruce Springsteen. Then Michael Stipe. Now Pink! She's coming out, so you better get this party started!

Fine. Great. You've said your apologies, now go eat something. ANYTHING! And run a comb through your hair, while you're at it.

Caricatures for Kerry!

I have to admit, I went to dictionary.com to figure out how to spell caricatures. You have no idea how wrong I was initially.

Ich bin ein, Hello Kitty!

Now that the election is over, perhaps she can take that horseshoe off the wall, and then do something about her atrocious ceilings.

Matt Damon, the pre-pubescent years.

The Breast Effect

Just. . . astounding.

So True

So very, very true.

Virus!!

Strong Bad got a virus, and it's hi-fucking-larious.

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Salt

Any person worth their salt no doubt sports a varied and fascinating array of scars. By the way, what does it mean to be "worth their salt?" Where did that turn of phrase originate? I simply must find out. Come on Google, don't fail me now. . .

Ah, apparently, the phrase "worth your salt" has its origins, as most good phrases do, in Roman times, when salt was an expensive and valued commodity. In fact, Roman soldiers were often partly paid in salt, which I find to be particularly interesting when applied to modern times.

BOSS: Good work, Jameson. You really got that project done in a quality fashion. Here's your paycheck. Have a good weekend.

JAMESON: Thank you, sir. I. . . um. . . er.

BOSS: Something wrong?

JAMESON: Well, it's just my paycheck, sir. About a quarter of it seems to be missing, and what's with all these little packets of salt?

BOSS: New payment policy, Jameson. From now on, a quarter of each paycheck will be paid out in salt. And that's not just any salt, m'boy. That's Morton Salt. Nothing but the best for my employees.

JAMESON: I quit, sir.

But wait, there's more! In Roman times, the payment portion that was made in salt had it's own name, "salarium," which eventually gave rise to the modern term, "salary."

I know what you're thinking at this point. You're thinking, "All of this is very valuable information that will no doubt serve me well in the real world, but what I really want to know is: what about 'scars.'"

Oh, right. Scars. I was talking about scars. Maybe I'll get around to writing about scars later. For now, Olympics-2004.newkerala.com/?action=fullnews&id=40912">some important news.

About virgins. Virgins. Virgins. Virgins. Virgins. Virgins. Virgins. Virgins. Virgins.