Please do a better job researching your stories in the future. That is, provided you have much of a future left.
Jeez, if the blogosphere can sniff out forgeries better, and in faster time, than "experts" utilized by news organizations, I can't help but think that Big Media is even lazier and sloppier than I previously believed. And that's saying something.
UPDATE: I'm not sure why, but I find it incredibly amusing that much of the Internet right now is being used to argue about typewriters. I haven't thought about typewriters since 9th grade, and now today I'm learning more about the infernal machines than I ever wanted to know. At least I'm getting a laugh out of it.
Okay, see, here's the problem I have with some of the paranoid copyright laws that are now on the books thanks to illegal downloads. Keep in mind, I've done a couple illegal downloads in my time. I'll hear a song on the radio, and I'll want to hear that song again, so I'll download it. Eventually, I usually get sick of the song and delete it. Except for a few.
Anyway, I have never, and I have no plans to, try downloading an entire video game, and I don't buy games, run home, and burn a copy and then try to return it to get my cash back. I don't think that's conducive to a good consumer marketplace. There are people who do that, and I can understand the impulse, I guess. But, people, you're really fucking things up for those of us who foolishly play by the rules. Consider a couple of recent trips to Best Buy. (keep in mind, the dialogue is a best guesstimate)
ME: Yes, I'd like to return this game (Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic).
CLERK: Certainly. What seems to be the problem with it?
ME: I'm not sure. It won't install on my computer.
CLERK: I see. Well, according to copyright laws, we can't give you a refund, we can only allow you to exchange it for a similar copy.
ME: Will that copy install on my computer?
CLERK: I don't know.
ME: Er, okay, thanks.
*I select another copy, go home, and unsuccessfully try to install the game. I then return to Best Buy*
ME: Yeah, I tried to install this, but it still doesn't work on my computer.
CLERK: Well, let's see if it installs on our machines.
*CLERK successfully installs game on Best Buy computer*
CLERK: The problem must be on your computer. If you want to bring it in, we can troubleshoot it for you and set you up with a new CD drive, if that's where the problem is.
ME: And how much would that be?
CLERK: Oh, a couple hundred dollars.
ME: So I can play a $20 game?
CLERK: Well, you'd also have a more up-to-date system.
ME: Just so we're clear here. You can't refund me $20 for a game that doesn't work on my computer, but you can update my system for $200 or so, so that a $20 game I'm not entirely sure I even want any more will run on my system?
CLERK: Yup.
Fast forward to my next visit.
ME: I bought this game yesterday, and I played it for about 20 minutes before realizing it wasn't at all what I thought it would be (Star Wars: Galaxies). They want me to pay $15 or so every month to play it online with a bunch of people who have absolutely no lives whatsoever.
CLERK: And what can we do for you?
ME: Well, I like to play computer games once in awhile, but I certainly don't camp out in front of my computer for 80 consecutive hours interacting with people who secretly believe they're the descendant of Boba Fett.
CLERK: *nervous laugh* I see, and what would you like us to do.
ME: Okay, I bought this game, this game right here, with the understanding that I could fire it up and play for 15 minutes or so while I wait for a pizza to cook or something. But, the thing with this game, you see, is that, in order to actually play it, you have to fork over a monthly subsription fee, in addition to the initial cost of the game. For as little as I actually sit down and play computer games, I can't justify a monthly fee to play a game that I don't play all that much.
CLERK: ...
ME: What I'm getting at here, is that I bought this game, but I realize now that it's an incredibly stupid waste time and money, and that I'll never play it enough to warrant a $15 monthly fee. I figured all this out in just under 20 minutes, so I'd very much like to return it.
CLERK: But, you opened it.
ME: Yes, yes I did open it. I had to open it and install it in order to discover that it is, in fact, a stupid waste of time and money. It was unavoidable. In order to learn fact B, I had to first conduct action A.
CLERK: But, it's been opened. Copyright laws today state that opened software cannot be returned for refunds. You may have copied the disks.
ME: But, I didn't.
CLERK: But other people do.
ME: *growing extremely impatient* Let's say, just for the sake of argument, that you leave your job today, and you get mugged on your way out the door. Under this copyright reasoning, even though I wasn't the one who mugged you, I should still suffer some sort of consequences because you were mugged, even though, at the time, I was at home trying to play a lousy computer game.
CLERK: I can understand your frustration, sir, but there's nothing we can do once a software package has been opened except allow you to exchange it for a different copy.
ME: A different copy of a game I don't want?
CLERK: Yes, I'm sorry.
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Saturday, after I woke up at about noon, Mel and I made our obligatory journey to the Minnesota State Fair, a time-honored Minnesota tradition during which you are expected to eat every fried food ever created, including deep fried candy bars and deep fried Twinkies.
The State Fair is a sure-fire way to pack on the calories whilst also depleting one's wallet. Seriously, you'll see a sign that reads "Bratwurst: $4 each" and you think, despite all common sense, "hey, that's a good deal. I'll buy five of those."
I limited my Fair eating to a calzone and a bag of mini-doughnuts because, let's be honest, if you don't buy mini-doughnuts when the opportunity presents itself, you're pretty much a failure as a human being.
Overall, my Fair experience this year was rather disappointing (and not just because I couldn't locate the local blogger get together that was supposed to be meeting somewhere near the space needle, but which I couldn't find to save my life). I'm not sure why I found it disappointing, either. Maybe it was because it was just Melissa and myself walking around together. The Fair is best enjoyed in a group, I think.
That, and Melissa beat me in a head-to-head match-up in a NASCAR driving game, and that, friends, just shouldn't have happened, because she reminded me of my defeat for the next eight hours. Granted, I would have done the same to her, but still. I mean, it was a driving game. And I got beat! By a GIRL!
Thankfully, Mel lives within walking distance of the Fairgrounds, because driving there and finding a parking spot would have driven me insane. It was slightly amusing, lazily walking along, easily passing about fifty automobiles lined up trying to get into the Fair parking lots. I wanted to point and yell "Neener Neener!"
