August 27, 2013

Getting Some Twerk Done

There were some huge news developments this week, from Egypt’s continuing chaotic spiral, to impending U.S. intervention in the Syrian civil war, to Miley Cyrus performing an outrageous dance number during the MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs).

You can probably imagine which of those big news developments I’m dedicating this blog post to.

A lot of people have expressed disgust over Miley’s VMA performance, which is perplexing, because the VMAs generally aren’t known as a venue where subdued performances are the norm. You don’t tune into the VMAs expecting to see Lords and Ladies in Victorian costumes, waltzing to Mozart. At the very least, you expect somebody to lick their own armpit, or somebody else’s armpit, or reciprocal armpit licking.

As for Miley’s. . . er. . . performance. . . parading around in sexually provocative garb as a 20-year-old is a time-honored tradition going back to the ancient Greeks--who used to wrestle nude in public, so keep that in mind.

So, no, I really have no problem with Miley Cyrus rutting around the VMA stage radiating confusing pheromones to all in attendance. Rather, what I found fascinating was that one of her signature “moves” that night is actually referred to as “Twerking.”

To be perfectly honest, I didn’t watch the VMAs, because I have better things to do, collectively known as “anything else.” But, when I came into work on Monday, the Internet was buzzing about Miley Cyrus “Twerking,” so I located the video online and promptly flushed away five minutes of my life. Still, I emerged with a newfound appreciation for this “Twerking” phenomenon, which has apparently been an established dance move in nightclubs for a decade or more now.

For those who don’t yet know, “Twerking” is an incredibly complex dance move that can involve one or two people—Miley opted for the two-person version. Like most traditional dances—for example the fox trot or tango—“Twerking” requires someone to lead, and in “Twerking,” the lead person is typically a female.

The correct “Twerking” form can vary, but it usually involves the “Twerker” placing her hands on her knees (for stability purposes) and jutting her posterior into the air, at which point she executes nearly-imperceptible, rapid-fire knee squats. These rapid knee squats, in turn, have an effect on the “Twerker’s” posterior, in that the buttocks gyrate violently.

And that’s it. That’s “Twerking.” As I said, “Twerking” can involve two people, where the “Twerker” . . . er . . . “Twerks,” against the groin of a male dance partner—as was Miley’s preference during the VMAs, which in my opinion was the more tasteful option.

What I like most about “Twerking” is the term “Twerking.” It’s an awesome term that has countless potential fabulous implications for the English language in general. For example, I personally tried to interject the term “Twerking” into at least a dozen different conversations last week. I even made a point of using the term in every Facebook update I made for an entire day. I also very nearly edited my resume to include a bullet point that read “Twerks well with others.”

Honestly, I think we should all do our part to ensure “Twerking” enters the popular vernacular. “Good morning,” could be replaced with “Good Twerking,” for example. We could replace “tweak” with “Twerk,” because I’ve never really liked the word “tweak.”

So, there’s your assignment, blog readers. Make “Twerking” an English reality!

Go on! Get to Twerk!

Posted by Ryan at August 27, 2013 12:36 PM | TrackBack
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