September 15, 2011

The Future is Yesterday

My wife and I are considering purchasing new cell phones. This is not an easy decision, owing largely to the fact I basically loathe phones in general, and cell phones in particular. Alas, in today's fast-paced world of technological innovation, being without a cell phone is like participating in a tug-of-war with no arms.

Actually, I should step back a bit here. My wife and I aren't considering new cell phones--we're considering upgrading from cell phones to "smart phones." I hate that term: "smart phones." Because the phones aren't "smart," and neither are most of the people using them, which makes having to upgrade to one all the more insulting.

Let's be clear here: "smart phones" are simply very small computers you can hold up to your ear in the unlikely event you decide to use one as an actual phone. I've been an avid computer enthusiast for the last 20+ years, so I know a computer when I see one, and a smart phone is a small computer. Period. Except it's a small computer that will be obsolete in six months, so you have to keep upgrading over and over again, which is why I hate the very idea of even venturing down the smart phone path. I'm annoyed enough when I have to upgrade my computer to new software versions, so actually having to buy a new hardware device with each software upgrade is particularly galling. It's like having to buy a new car when the tires get worn down.

Even worse than the idea of purchasing a very small computer over and over again is the thought of going down the texting rabbit hole. I just simply don't understand the concept behind texting. My thinking is, if something is important enough to text, it's important enough to call, because it takes longer to text than to call in most cases. That said, I think I resist texting because, in my heart of hearts, I know I'll end up embracing it like a long lost lover. I can totally see my sour cynicism playing out in texting format.

There's part of me that desperately wishes the sun would send out an uber-flare that radiates an electro magnetic pulse (EMP) that renders all electronic devices impotent and sends human civilization back to primitive circles around campfires for our communication needs, but I know that's not likely to happen.

So, I have no real choice but to embark on the smart phone route and become a texting fiend. Which means this blog will eventually consist of texting shorthand.

j/k. LOL!

Posted by Ryan at September 15, 2011 09:57 AM | TrackBack
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