May 23, 2011

Gut check

I was singing the "ABC" song to Aiden this morning, and I remembered, a bit jarringly, that my wife and I sang that song to Finn as he died.

Obviously, a life moment, such as Finn's passing, is one of those things you can't possibly plan for, and during such times of high emotion, stress and indescribable sadness, you're not thinking five months down the line. As it was, when the nurses asked if we wanted to sing a song to Finn, the "ABC" song was just one of the few tunes that came to mind.

In retrospect, I sort of wish we had chosen differently, because the "ABC" song is one of those that really shouldn't be associated with loss and sadness. It's the quintessential alphabet learning song, and I'll be singing regularly probably for the next several years, and I don't want to choke up again while singing it as I did this morning.

Just, you know, something to think about.

Posted by Ryan at May 23, 2011 12:32 PM | TrackBack

A friend of mine lost his wife and was at sams club and saw raspberries that he used to buy for her cereal. He had to stand in the walk in freezer till he could stop crying.
My point is, it will hit you at the weirdest times, in the weirdest places, and you won't see it coming. It just sucks and there's nothing you can do for it but give yourself time.
Still, you need a hug, and I'm sorry.

Posted by: Donnathedead at May 24, 2011 09:11 AM

I'm at a loss for what to say to you, except that I'm sorry.

Small, inconsequential things from my past color my present. I cannot fathom how much Finn will color the rest of your life.

And every time I see the name Finn, I think of you and your wife, and your kids, and your little boy who was with you for far too short a time.

Posted by: Keith at May 25, 2011 10:31 AM
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